I'm so tired of the pulling and letting go, pulling and letting go...
I feel like I get so close only to be thrown back so far away. I get news from the program and then I don't hear about them in weeks; I recieve some extra cash, only to get more bills to pay; I get a hello from you during the day, and then you completely ignore me the rest of the week. I've had enough.
Dear Universe,
I'm tired; stop playing with me.
Sincerely, me.
Sexy: Facebook inbox messages, I'm sorry I don't care about your comments on my pics, or you writing on my "wall" I'd rather get a message just for me and not because you want the rest of the world to think you're cool and have a million friends.
Unsexy: I have to wake up in like 5 hours, then I have to go see a family member who just got surgery, come back home, give my dog a bath and then go to a baseball game. busy, busy day.
Song of the day: Look What You've Done by Jet. One of my favorite songs ever, I wasn't going to post one today, but it just came on itunes and it perfectly described how I'm feeling right now, so there you go.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
one, nine, six, nine...
I'm exhausted, I went back to working on Saturdays and yesterday we had an open house so we had to work all day. I truly do not appreciate standing up in normal shoes for 7+ hours, let alone standing up in high heels. Also I seriously do not like getting hit on by creepy 19 year old students and by creepy parents pretending to ask about prices for the summer course.
But aside from that I actually enjoyed it, it has been a while since we have done one of these ridiculous things to get more students. I ate waaaay too much and at the end I won a plushie from our school's "mascot" and by won I mean I exchanged it with someone else for what I had actually won. :)
I got home to find mom had gotten back with my cousins, we fight 90% of the time but I still love and missed these little monkeys. Also they came with my SIGNED copy of Megan McCafferty's Perfect Fifths, the one I won in the twitter competition:
They also brought me 21 Proms and WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON!<333 (finally) I started reading it last night and I'm already on page 138 of 300 or so... I love it, I love BOTH Wills AND I adore Tiny.
Today is Father's Day and as a present I gave my dad some money and I'm taking him to see a baseball, family sunday, right?
I adore my father more than I can say, I've punched guys on the face for him, I've broken up with boyfriends based on his advice, I've followed my dreams and done my own thing since I can remember simply because he has always showed me his undying support.
When I went through one of the biggest (and very few) major life crisis I've had, (I was hundreds of miles away from home, not talking to anybody else in my family apart from him and my cousins, broke and after actually getting broken up with) the first person I called was my father, I had to call him at work because I was afraid my mother would pick up the phone if I called home, I was a blubbering mess and crying my eyes out. He simply listened to me and patiently gave me one of the best advices I've ever had, managed to calm me down and made me feel safe even when I really wasn't. I really do not know what I would do without him.
Sexy: Tiny Cooper. XD
Unsexy: Sore feet.
Song of the day: A Song for the Metalheads by Butch Walker.
ETA: My younger cousin, and almost brother, Willie is getting married, I don't think I've never been this happy for the news about a marriage in like ever. :D
But aside from that I actually enjoyed it, it has been a while since we have done one of these ridiculous things to get more students. I ate waaaay too much and at the end I won a plushie from our school's "mascot" and by won I mean I exchanged it with someone else for what I had actually won. :)
I got home to find mom had gotten back with my cousins, we fight 90% of the time but I still love and missed these little monkeys. Also they came with my SIGNED copy of Megan McCafferty's Perfect Fifths, the one I won in the twitter competition:
lovelovelovelovelove!
They also brought me 21 Proms and WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON!<333 (finally) I started reading it last night and I'm already on page 138 of 300 or so... I love it, I love BOTH Wills AND I adore Tiny.
Today is Father's Day and as a present I gave my dad some money and I'm taking him to see a baseball, family sunday, right?
I adore my father more than I can say, I've punched guys on the face for him, I've broken up with boyfriends based on his advice, I've followed my dreams and done my own thing since I can remember simply because he has always showed me his undying support.
When I went through one of the biggest (and very few) major life crisis I've had, (I was hundreds of miles away from home, not talking to anybody else in my family apart from him and my cousins, broke and after actually getting broken up with) the first person I called was my father, I had to call him at work because I was afraid my mother would pick up the phone if I called home, I was a blubbering mess and crying my eyes out. He simply listened to me and patiently gave me one of the best advices I've ever had, managed to calm me down and made me feel safe even when I really wasn't. I really do not know what I would do without him.
Sexy: Tiny Cooper. XD
Unsexy: Sore feet.
Song of the day: A Song for the Metalheads by Butch Walker.
"If there's one thing my father said when he was younger
To a kid with a mullet that looked like his son
To want and to try is the difference why
Some people will walk and some run . . .thank you dad"
ETA: My younger cousin, and almost brother, Willie is getting married, I don't think I've never been this happy for the news about a marriage in like ever. :D
Thursday, June 17, 2010
wishing
take me derrr.
"Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was. Love is there if you want it to be. You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it."
Sexy: Sigh. Certain boy.
Oh, and Mexico 2 - France -0 ....
Unsexy: Being desperately anxious about everything since my mom left (havent recieved a phone call from the school or said boy)
Song of the day: Trouble by NeverShoutNever!
Because she's so
O-oh, o-oh, o-ooh
Rock 'n roll
And out of my league
Is she out of my league?
Let's hope not
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Highs and lows
I just want to say I'm typing this under 5 different types of medications so I apologize in advance if this doesn't make any sense.
This past weekend was spent in bed, practically dying from both boredom and sickness, watching Toy Story 1 AND 2, twice. Leave it to me to get sick on a weekend. I literally had no voice this past Saturday, and today I'm not feeling that much better, but at least I'm breathing.
On Sunday I couldn't take it anymore and went out with my mother to the mall*, and we happened to run into my head doctor, also pediatrican and uncle, who had given me, just a couple of hours before the encounter, strict instructions not to leave the house. I swear these things only happen to me.
Maybe I'm just stressed, maybe it's that time of the month, I dunno. I'm missing the inspiration and thrive that I seemed to have early this year. Oh, my young and naive self.
I was supposed to hear from my future school this past week and nothing, I emailed them today to see what's going on. Chances are they still have my address wrong. But I feel like I can't be bothered anymore.
1) I still have to finish the material I was asigned to; 2) I haven't even started working with the presentation team, and let's face it, neither of us has that many ideas to work with; 3) I'm stressed at my current job because some of my students aren't performing that well this month; 4) I have a million bills to pay, CC, cell, etc. 5) On top of that my medicine isn't that cheap either, my uncle makes sure you get better by demanding some of the best;6) Chikis meds and vaccines were pricey; 7) I still owe money to my dentist; 8) if my mom needs money to pay for HER things, I have to lend her the money because I feel bad if I don't; 9) if my aunt and uncle can't come to bring the kids I have to give more money to my mom to go pick them up; 10) if things break around the house and I'm the one who pays for the new stuff, because I'm the one who can't sleep at night if the lock of the front door is broken and my dad says "It's fiiiiine, we'll just lock from the inside," hell no. 11) I STILL haven't heard from the school**. Sigh, I could go on and on.
I'm almost 99,99%*** sure I'm not coming up with enough money to go, hell I'm not even sure I can come up with HALF of the money to go, sometimes I feel like it's just TOO much.
But such is life, right? Isn't this what is all about? Alternating highs and lows; suffering at times so when you get to the high points it tastes so much sweeter, isn't it? I sure hope it is, and I sure hope the good ones can come up sooner.
ttfn
Gaby
Sexy: Upcakes! Such a clever, sweet, and nice idea, about both the design AND the name.
Unsexy: Debts. Seriously.
Song of the day: Here Comes My Baby by Sons of Admirals. Basically, it's Alex Day (whose song writing style I adore, and plainly find the way he thinks and writes fascinating); Tom Milsom, ( I love the sounds that he produces, I was going to say "makes" but that just sounded wrong XD anyway, I just think he's so musically talented), Edd Plant and Charlie McDonnell. Personally, I think they still need to work on their voices, but I also think they couldn't have picked a better name. I'm already excited to listen more about them, and this is only from listening to a cover of a 60s cheesy song. So, go, listen and buy it.
* I know, I know, I'm complaining about money and still I went to the mall. Just so you know, I only got an ice cream and an itunes card this time. :-P
** Sometimes I wish they'd just mail one day and say "Sorry! we overlooked you! How about we save you a place for next year?" And then maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to save enough money to go.
*** It's that 0.01% that keeps me going, honestly.
This past weekend was spent in bed, practically dying from both boredom and sickness, watching Toy Story 1 AND 2, twice. Leave it to me to get sick on a weekend. I literally had no voice this past Saturday, and today I'm not feeling that much better, but at least I'm breathing.
On Sunday I couldn't take it anymore and went out with my mother to the mall*, and we happened to run into my head doctor, also pediatrican and uncle, who had given me, just a couple of hours before the encounter, strict instructions not to leave the house. I swear these things only happen to me.
Maybe I'm just stressed, maybe it's that time of the month, I dunno. I'm missing the inspiration and thrive that I seemed to have early this year. Oh, my young and naive self.
I was supposed to hear from my future school this past week and nothing, I emailed them today to see what's going on. Chances are they still have my address wrong. But I feel like I can't be bothered anymore.
1) I still have to finish the material I was asigned to; 2) I haven't even started working with the presentation team, and let's face it, neither of us has that many ideas to work with; 3) I'm stressed at my current job because some of my students aren't performing that well this month; 4) I have a million bills to pay, CC, cell, etc. 5) On top of that my medicine isn't that cheap either, my uncle makes sure you get better by demanding some of the best;6) Chikis meds and vaccines were pricey; 7) I still owe money to my dentist; 8) if my mom needs money to pay for HER things, I have to lend her the money because I feel bad if I don't; 9) if my aunt and uncle can't come to bring the kids I have to give more money to my mom to go pick them up; 10) if things break around the house and I'm the one who pays for the new stuff, because I'm the one who can't sleep at night if the lock of the front door is broken and my dad says "It's fiiiiine, we'll just lock from the inside," hell no. 11) I STILL haven't heard from the school**. Sigh, I could go on and on.
I'm almost 99,99%*** sure I'm not coming up with enough money to go, hell I'm not even sure I can come up with HALF of the money to go, sometimes I feel like it's just TOO much.
But such is life, right? Isn't this what is all about? Alternating highs and lows; suffering at times so when you get to the high points it tastes so much sweeter, isn't it? I sure hope it is, and I sure hope the good ones can come up sooner.
ttfn
Gaby
Sexy: Upcakes! Such a clever, sweet, and nice idea, about both the design AND the name.
Unsexy: Debts. Seriously.
Song of the day: Here Comes My Baby by Sons of Admirals. Basically, it's Alex Day (whose song writing style I adore, and plainly find the way he thinks and writes fascinating); Tom Milsom, ( I love the sounds that he produces, I was going to say "makes" but that just sounded wrong XD anyway, I just think he's so musically talented), Edd Plant and Charlie McDonnell. Personally, I think they still need to work on their voices, but I also think they couldn't have picked a better name. I'm already excited to listen more about them, and this is only from listening to a cover of a 60s cheesy song. So, go, listen and buy it.
* I know, I know, I'm complaining about money and still I went to the mall. Just so you know, I only got an ice cream and an itunes card this time. :-P
** Sometimes I wish they'd just mail one day and say "Sorry! we overlooked you! How about we save you a place for next year?" And then maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to save enough money to go.
*** It's that 0.01% that keeps me going, honestly.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Don't panic and bring a towel.
19 days to go til my birthday and after my last post I've changed my mind, I want THIS for my birthday. And nothing more... Well, maybe you can throw a Haruki Murakami book in there too.
Speaking of books, earlier today somebody asked me what my favorite book was. That's so difficult for me, it's like if somebody asked a mother who her favorite child was... probably not exactly like that, but pretty close.
So I had to divide them into categories.
My favorite writer is John Green, so...
My favorite John Green book: Paper Towns.
My favorite book that makes me cry: Looking for Alaska by John Green.
My favorite Christmas book: Let it Snow by John Green, Maureen Johnson and Lauren Myracle.
My favorite John Green love story: An Abundance of Katherines.
Onto the others...
My favorite "children" series: Harry Potter by JK Rowling.
My favorite HP book: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
My favorite YA series: The Jessica Darling series by Megan McCafferty.
My favorite fantasy novels: His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman.
My favorite angsty book: The Catcher in the Rye, (do I even need to say it?) by JD Salinger.
I could keep going on and on, but this are the ones who are usually next to my bed, along with a giant encyclopedia that I use to have there since I was a kid because I've always been a geek.
So there you have it, if you want to keep me happy, you should give me a book. Maybe I'll do movies and music next, haha.
Sexy: Writers. No, forget about writers, I'd settle for guys who actually read.
"On the nightstand: No nightstand, just a pile of books!"
From an interview to John Green, *Swoon* a man after my own heart.
Unsexy: My immune system. After teaching 5 year olds for months it seems like it just gave up on me and I'm usually always sick.
Song of the day: Peeing in a Bottle (Genie in a Bottle parody) by Armoured Bearcub. Their name making reference to His Dark Materials, and with a song from one of my FAVORITE scenes in Paper Towns = <333 I must get their CD.
Speaking of books, earlier today somebody asked me what my favorite book was. That's so difficult for me, it's like if somebody asked a mother who her favorite child was... probably not exactly like that, but pretty close.
So I had to divide them into categories.
My favorite writer is John Green, so...
My favorite John Green book: Paper Towns.
My favorite book that makes me cry: Looking for Alaska by John Green.
My favorite Christmas book: Let it Snow by John Green, Maureen Johnson and Lauren Myracle.
My favorite John Green love story: An Abundance of Katherines.
Onto the others...
My favorite "children" series: Harry Potter by JK Rowling.
My favorite HP book: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
My favorite YA series: The Jessica Darling series by Megan McCafferty.
My favorite fantasy novels: His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman.
My favorite angsty book: The Catcher in the Rye, (do I even need to say it?) by JD Salinger.
I could keep going on and on, but this are the ones who are usually next to my bed, along with a giant encyclopedia that I use to have there since I was a kid because I've always been a geek.
So there you have it, if you want to keep me happy, you should give me a book. Maybe I'll do movies and music next, haha.
Sexy: Writers. No, forget about writers, I'd settle for guys who actually read.
"On the nightstand: No nightstand, just a pile of books!"
From an interview to John Green, *Swoon* a man after my own heart.
Unsexy: My immune system. After teaching 5 year olds for months it seems like it just gave up on me and I'm usually always sick.
Song of the day: Peeing in a Bottle (Genie in a Bottle parody) by Armoured Bearcub. Their name making reference to His Dark Materials, and with a song from one of my FAVORITE scenes in Paper Towns = <333 I must get their CD.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Since it's less than a month away...
10 things that I want for my birthday:
1) A plane ticket to London.
not so much want but almost NEED.
2) A plane ticket to TEXAS.
i've been so homesick for texas lately, I must stop myself from listening to cheesy country music all day.
3) hitchiker's guide to the galaxy pack
I've been waiting forever to read these.
4) money to go to the ROFLCOPTOUR in Dallas, TX
all caps, the parselmouths and the moaning myrtles in just one room = awesome.
5) money to go see Butch Walker on ANY date.
I don't need to elaborate on this one.
6) UO gift card
want want want a UO dress
7) MAC cosmetics/brushes
I need new brushes and mac is lovely
8) a new cell phone
I'm not picky at all, I just need something that actually tells me when I have a phone call and does not delete my messages, but if you're letting me choose a white iphone would be awesome
9) for this guy to ask me out.
I think I'm gonna start calling him Bill.
10) a timeturner that actually works
because how great would that be?
Sexy: Guys on motorcycles.
Unsexy: How it's so fugging hot here that I can't go to bed.
Song of the day: Born to Run by Butch Walker (Springsteen cover)
1) A plane ticket to London.
not so much want but almost NEED.
2) A plane ticket to TEXAS.
i've been so homesick for texas lately, I must stop myself from listening to cheesy country music all day.
3) hitchiker's guide to the galaxy pack
I've been waiting forever to read these.
4) money to go to the ROFLCOPTOUR in Dallas, TX
all caps, the parselmouths and the moaning myrtles in just one room = awesome.
5) money to go see Butch Walker on ANY date.
I don't need to elaborate on this one.
6) UO gift card
want want want a UO dress
7) MAC cosmetics/brushes
I need new brushes and mac is lovely
8) a new cell phone
I'm not picky at all, I just need something that actually tells me when I have a phone call and does not delete my messages, but if you're letting me choose a white iphone would be awesome
9) for this guy to ask me out.
I think I'm gonna start calling him Bill.
10) a timeturner that actually works
because how great would that be?
Sexy: Guys on motorcycles.
Unsexy: How it's so fugging hot here that I can't go to bed.
Song of the day: Born to Run by Butch Walker (Springsteen cover)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I can't help it.
I like you. Just as simple as that, I like you.
Song of the day: Falling in Love by Landon Pigg. "I think that possibly maybe I'm falling for you. Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you." <333
Song of the day: Falling in Love by Landon Pigg. "I think that possibly maybe I'm falling for you. Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you." <333
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