Sunday, November 15, 2009

about being broke and the 100% perfect girl

First, as promised -- puppies!










He got the award for best costume.


I love going shopping with my mom, I think it's the only time we really have fun together. Also, trying on clothes when they're playing the Little Mermaid soundtrack in the dressing room = perfection.


I bought a new coat, and dresses and lately I've been ordering books online, I need to stop soon. But I don't think I will since I keep finding jewels like this one:




Haruki Murakami: On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning
One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.



Tell you the truth, she's not that good-looking. She doesn't stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn't young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a "girl," properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She's the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there's a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.



Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you're drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I'll catch myself staring at the girl at the next able to mine because I like the shape of her nose.


But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can't recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It's weird. "Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl," I tell someone.



"Yeah?" he says.
"Good-looking?"
"Not really."
"Your favorite type, then?"
"I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts."
"Strange."
"Yeah. Strange."
"So anyhow," he says, already bored, "what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?"
"Nah. Just passed her on the street."



She's walking east to west, and I west to east. It's a really nice April morning.


Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I'd really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world.



After talking, we'd have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for
cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.


Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart. Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.



How can I approach her? What should I say?
"Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?"
Ridiculous. I'd sound like an insurance salesman.



"Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?"
No, this is just as ridiculous. I'm not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who's going to buy a line like that? Maybe the simple truth would do.


"Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me." No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about.


We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can't bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She's written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy ook in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she's ever had.



I take a few more strides and turn: She's lost in the crowd.



Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.



Oh, well. It would have started "Once upon a time" and ended "A sad story, don't you think?"



Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.



One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.



"This is amazing," he said.
"I've been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you're the
100% perfect girl for me."
"And you," she said to him, "are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I'd pictured you in every detail. It's like a dream."



They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100% perfect other. It's a miracle, a cosmic miracle.



As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one's dreams to come true so easily?


And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, "Let's test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other's 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we'll marry then and there. What do you think?"



"Yes," she said, "that is exactly what we should do."



And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.


The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other's 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.



One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season's terrible inluenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H. Lawrence's piggy bank.



They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery
letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.



Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.



One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west,but along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew:



She is the 100% perfect girl for me.
He is the 100% perfect boy for me.



But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.


A sad story, don't you think?

Yes, that's it, that is what I should have said to her.

http://www.mat.upm.es/~jcm/murakami-perfect.html


Totally not my style but now I feel like I need to read one of his books. :)


Last but not least, song of the week:




Monday, November 9, 2009

"I figured something out. The future is unpredictable."

This morning I finished and sent to Mexico city the application to go work as a Foreign Language Assistant in the UK. I've a million things which would make me not adequate enough for this position; but I also have a million more which would make me totally right to get it. I'm excited, I'm nervous, but above all, I'm freaking out. What if they say no? I've been working my whole life to get a chance like this one, go out to a foreign country, meet new people, be independent and see the world. But then I think why not?! I HAVE been putting my ass off to get everything I need for this and I'm more than qualified. And then I think what if they say YES? what the hell am I going to do all by myself in a foreign country for almost a year without my family around to help me or a decent place to live?

God, I can't wait. I'm going to keep feeling this... this emptiness inside until they call with news. Which won't be until March or so... So I'm going to continue freaking out about this until then.

My mother already informed about this to every single member of my extended family and they were all ready to throw me a Bon Voyage party but I had to tell them I wouldn't know until the begining of next year and even then I wouldn't be leaving until... June? I think.

I had to write TWO essays for the application, I guess that's what took the longest and was for me the hardest part. I'm a translator, I can tell you what someone else had said, I'm the messenger, never the writer. But I think I ended up with two good pieces, one was of the reasons why I want to become a Foreign Language Assistant, and I think it's the best thing I've written in my whole life. The other was like a biography where I had to include the 4 main attractions of the city where I live, THAT one was difficult, but I think it turned out okay. I also had to give them 3 different places where I would like to live, although they can't promise anything, but I also couldn't decide, being already on the other side of the world, who really cares? But I told them Scotland and Oxford and I might have referenced Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials in there, I'm such a dork sometimes. We'll see... when I hear back from them I might post them here, if I remember to do so.

Speaking of books! I started reading Megan McCafferty's Jessica Darling series because certain Miss hayleyghoover recommended it and Ohmygod, I loved it. I've only read Sloppy Firsts but I'm buying the rest of the series on ebay as I type. Go.Read.Them.

I'm also expecting a couple of CD's and t-shirts to arrive on the mail :D


I also have pictures of puppies to show you but I'll probably do that later this week.


Last but not least, a video of my favorite, Butch Walker:

CLICK HERE