Productive weekend

I told myself I was going to be productive this weekend. 

I was going to finally finish that dreaded essay and print out applications and have everything organized but I haven't. 

I was supposed to have a nice relaxing saturday but I had to work then I had to literally run to my guitar lesson which turned out to be totally stupid since the guy didn't arrive til 30 minutes after I did. But it's cool, I'm finally learning and I paid him for 3 months ahead so I'm now forced to go there every friday. 

He said it was harder to learn with an electroacoustic guitar but that if I ever wanted to take an acoustic or an electric one it would be a lot easier for me. So I'm sticking to the new one, I decided to name it Kimmy, simple because of this. And this is how she looks.

Just looking at it makes me smile so I'm gonna suck it up and learn with Kimmy. Even tho I just practiced today and yesterday and it feels like the fingers from my left hand are numb and my right wrist is going to fall off. lol

I need a mac, I need a mac soon. I don't care about the color or the memory or if it's pro or not. I just need my own computer. 

Oh yeah, I was talking about being productive. I was going to start writing when someone called to ask if I wanted to go see a movie. I totally threw everything away and went. I just thought Nick and Norah would inspire me to write something :-P

I'm off to see if I can get anything done tonight. I'd probably end up practicing a bit more anyway. 

ttfn

ps. I need a hard case.

ps2. I'm already excited for Christmas! 

Weddings and such.

According to wikipedia, marriage is: 

"... a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged by a variety of ways, depending on the culture or demographic. Such a union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the marital structure created is known as wedlock."

For the last couple of months I've been invited to more weddings than I could imagine. One of the ones getting married told me is because "we're at THAT age." Sigh. I've told everyone how it's hard to find the time and the money to buy a wedding gift, and a new dress because I have a million things to do lately and because everyone has seen all the dresses I own. But deep down is more than that. 

Every single one of my friends who has gotten married distance themselves; and I understand, they are entering a new stage in their lives where they need to be selfish and spend most of their time getting to know their significant others in a much deeper level, but that doesn't mean I don't miss them.  And even if I do get to see them is different now, we are not just hanging out doing whatever, now we're having "dinners" and everything is more proper because now theyre Mrs. This or Mr. That. 

I guess it's just frustrating because at this point of my life I feel like I don't need someone to be perfectly happy. It's not that I would never want to get married is just that I don't feel like I'm there yet. I have difficulties being with the same person for a few months, let alone for spending the rest of my life with someone. 

The same friend who told me about THAT age said she didn't understand my way of thinking, seeing as I come from a perfect example of what a healthy marriage seems to be I should love weddings and the whole thing. Trust me, my parents aren't the perfect picture of what a marriage should be, but I do believe they are perfect for each other. 

And having that example is what makes me think that way, I just don't want to find someone to share a house with. I think it needs to feel right. I need to find someone who is nerdy, likes Harry Potter and the internet and who doesn't criticize my taste in music and who likes the same movies as I do. And I'm not exactly looking for that right now anyway, so this could take a while. 

Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies: Will they, won't they, and then they finally do and they're happy forever -- gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half the ones that get married get divorced, anyway. And I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, 'cause I do...believe in it. Bottom line...is the couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but, the big difference is, they don't let it take 'em down. 
...One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time, if it's right, and they're real lucky. One of them will say something. 

- Dr Cox. 
'Scrubs' - 1.15 "My Bed Banter & Beyond"

TTFN

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P.S. I got home yesterday night, after being out the whole day, to find out my mother has gone to Texas to visit my aunt again. Seriously it's like I don't live in this house anymore, NOBODY tells me anything :( 

But it's cool she's going to bring my halloween costume and hopefully a couple of Maureen Johnson's books back with her. 

P.S.2. 

ok bye now

x

Dear Blog,

I'm so, so sorry, I know I'm such a bad blogger.  I got this page so I could practice my writing *cough* you know for that... essay I still have to finish but alas there is just so little time. 

Family affairs are still delicate; I'm working very hard and my sleeping patterns are shit, as usual. I missed the pet convention because of the things I just mentioned. We try to go every year because it doesn't matter how awful your week has been, or the smell of hundreds of dogs pooping and peeing all day; puppies will ALWAYS cheer me up. They're magical like that. 

So we go and we kiss them and I usually buy Chikis a new sweater and we always take a picture with the albino ball python:

I LOVE it. 

But anyway, onto more cheerful things. 

I finally decided what I'm going to be for Halloween! I don't want to say what yet but I can only say it's not going to be Sally from NBC, even tho I would die to look like her (get it? XD)

More of my friends are getting married, which is a GREAT thing, except I don't really need to go look for cute dresses again when I'm already broke. 

Speaking of not having any money, COLDPLAY IS PLAYING IN MY CITY. AND I'M DEFINITELY GONNA BE THERE. Even if I run out of money to buy food ^_^

And last but not least, MY FREAKING JOHN GREEN BOBBLEHEAD ARRIVED THIS WEEK. I had it delivered to Texas and it had been sitting around there for a while but now it's here and it's even more awesome then what I imagined it would be. I'm just afraid I might break it.  I'm going to make a video about it when I get the chance which might not be til next weekend. 

Well, that's it from me; I hope this will do for another week or so. 

much love. 

take all of your wasted honor, every little past frustration... say what you need to say

I hadn't written anything here because I wanted to say someting more cheerful than the last post. But it seems like things aren't going to get better, we keep losing contact and worring about others; so I decided to post this, I wrote it a while ago for my livejournal but it's still so true:

---------------------------------------------------------------------

PostSecret is an ongoing community mail art project, created by Frank Warren, in which people mail their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. Select secrets are then posted on the PostSecret website, or used for PostSecret's books or museum exhibits.

Basically, people send Frank a postcard with a secret, there are no rules except for it has to be a secret no one has ever heard. Then Frank selects and posts 20 of those secrets on the website, obviously a lot of the secrets don't make it to the website so he puts them together for books or shows them at events or they go into a book. So far there are four books, I hope I can buy them some day. I'm not sure how much, but part of the money they make of the books goes to HopeLine, the national suicide prevention hotline.

I'm not suicidal, I've never cut or hurt myself in any physical way but I've been depressed, and I know some people started that way. The thought of losing someone I love that way kills me. I used to think someone who commited suicide was just a selfish person who wouldn't care who they left behind, now it just makes me sad to know some people belive this is their only way out. 


BUT ANYWAY, BACK TO THE WEBSITE. here are some of my favorites: 



true





SO cute. 



me, you, easy. 



either end



me too :)



<3



<333



I'm a fan of these 11:11



-------. 



I hope this is true. I lost a couple 


it pisses me off when you take everything for granted. but it makes me appreciate what I have even more. 



------.



I decided all years are going to be good years. 



after working in a nursing home, I REALLY do hope I die young. 








:(






I call shotgun. BOOKREFERENCE<3



basically because it reminded me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ACRzPHKoSY :) 



I do that. I panic and think you have died. So please reply to me. 



sometimes



I want this to be you and me. BF<3



and you have no idea how much, kid. 



tear



Probably my all time favorite. I want someone who I can say this to.



HARRY POTTER FTW.






<3333



true to life. 



please, please, please. 



possibly my 2nd favorite. everybody knows swearing emphasizes everything. 



harry potter references :)



no drawings, no hearts needed.



ME TOO! Except I was 16.



:D



you jump, I jump, Jack. 











"I need you"



"I haven't decided where to live"











-----. 



31




lol


If you still haven't had enough go to www.postsecret.blogspot.com for this weeks secrets.

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much love.