My thoughts create my world

A couple of months ago, miss hayleyghoover made a video about how grilled cheese is romantic and she mentioned that her favorite love story is the Jessica Darling series, written by Megan McCafferty. As obsessesive as I am, I HAD to read it. I found some really cheap copies on ebay and started reading them over winter break.

The novels are written as a journal, so it felt too familiar for me to be reading them. Jessica Darling is a teenager in New Jersey, her parents don't get her at all, her best friend moves away, fake friends, and a crush on a certain myserious dreg bring all the drama and humor and angst that made me fall in love with the series.

Jessica is so original, and yet I could totally relate to her relationship with her parents or the problems you face when everything around you seems to go just totally opposite from what you want it to go. Her sarcasm and intelligent type of humor is just priceless.

And then there is the boy. Krispy Kreme, Marcus Flutie, he didn't just make Jessica fall for him, he made ME fall for him. Despite his mental games, his coming and going all the time, I loved him from the start. Maybe it was the bad boy turned good appeal, but I want a Marcus just for me. yes. me.

The books are also so great because Jessica grows up in them, yes she makes mistakes like all of us, but you can tell she is growing up. Making big decisions in her life, decisions I have faced before and decisions I will have to make soon, and there is something just so comforting in reading someone else's thoughts about them and realizing that freaking out is like, somewhat normal.

I only got Sloppy Firsts, Second Helpings, Charming Thirds, and Fourth Comings. I haven't read the final book, Perfect Fifths, I bought it but had it delivered to my aunt's house, and my mom went to visit her last week, so it's very likely I'll get it sometime this weekend. :)


I'm gonna post some of my favorite quotes so beware, nothing too spoilery, just thought I should let you know.

"I can't remember the last time my mom was so right about something. Marcus Flutie had zero chance at being my boyfriend and had even less of a shot at being a real friend to me. But that conversation in the Caddie guaranteed that Marcus Flutie would never be nobody. At least, not to me." - Jessica Darling in Sloppy Firsts.

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"Are you quiet because you're surprised or because you're repulsed?"
"Neither," I replied. "I'm quiet because we've done enough talking." - Marcus Flutie and Jessica Darling in Second Helpings


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furious flutter
awakened hummingbird heart
hello hello love - poetry spam # 21 - Marcus Flutie in Charmed Thirds

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"Your kisses scrambled my brain. They manipulated the solar system. They returned Marcus Flutie to the center of my universe. I was defenseless against your pe-Copernican pull." -Jessica Darling in Fourth Comings

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I love those, but I promise the books are SO much better than that. If you get a chance do read them, please.

One last thing, remember the book I mentioned a while ago? Well, it's John Green and David Levithan's new book, Will Grayson, Will Grayson. It's coming out in April and Steph's Bowe is giving away an ARC of the book, so if you'd like one clic here: http://heyteenager.blogspot.com/2010/02/win-arc-of-will-grayson-will-grayson-by.html :)


Much love,

valentine's day & consumism.

I've been drooling over clothes online. Honestly, if Urban Outfitters or Mod Cloth accepted paypal I'd be broke right now, probably selling my iPod to pay my credit card debt.

BTW, If you want to know what to get me for my birthday, (ONLY less than 5 months away!) you could get me these:

HELVETICA TSHIRT

URBAN RENEWAL PRINTED DENIM BODYCON DRESS CHINTZ NOT ABSTRACT

BEACH BLANKET BINGO RETRO SUIT

THIS TIME TOMORROW DRESS

BOW NECKLACE


PINK SWEET HEART SUNGLASSES

MAGNETIC POETRY SET (LOVE)

XRAY GUITAR WALL ART



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A couple of years ago, when I was still in college, people were asking what were our plans for v-day, I was single at the time (actually, as I have been on every single valentine's day, I think I just avoid all the being in a couple thing at all since christmas) anyway, everybody was telling how they would spend it; either celebrating with their significant other, or all by themselves. One of my classmates, who btw was single too, asked us, "Don't you just feel sad?" And I was all like, "Sad?" To which she replied, "Yes, for being alone." I just wanted to punch her right there. But I didn't, it's not her fault that society practically forces us to feel guilty for not being paired on this day.

I'm actually glad it was on a Sunday this year, that way I didn't have to go to work wearing red (as they made us go wearing red tshirts and blue jeans last year) and avoid being forced to accept heart shapped lollipops.

As much as I hate this hallmark holiday, today I was dragged to shop candies and balloons and stuffed animals for my cousins' boyfriends and aunt's husband. I went along and played nice and took care of the little cousin who came along and stopped myself from throwing up in every store who had ridiculous "I<3u" signs on every window, so I decided to give me a prize and got myself a new dress :)

As I did last time with Christmas, I thought I would give you an anti-valentine's day song list. But since I just came up with this idea, it's gonna be a short list, think about it as an EP.

Good Year for the Roses - Elvis Costello
"What a good year for the roses, many blooms still linger there.
The lawn could stand another mowin'. Funny I don't even care"
Quite probably the best breakup song ever written.

A Perfect Sonnet -Bright Eyes
"You can't remember where she said she was going to, but you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song,that you don't want to sing"
I think Conor Oberst is one of the best songwriters out there.

Dear Everybody -JamisonParker
"I haven't seen the sun in about a week and I'm keeping all sharp objects out of reach.
I finally know the taste of love, it's a cross between cheap beer and blood, with an aftertaste of dry sarcastic speech."

So true. Bitting Bullets is good too.

I'll Kill Her - Soko
"She stole my future, she broke my dream. I'll kill her, I'll kill her.
She stole my future when she took you away. If I find her, I swear, I'll kill her"
Funny little song. Lately I have been obsessed with Soko, I so fugging wish she would put out an album already.

It's Fine If You Don't Love Me - Soko
"It's fine if you don't love me, cause I know someone else will. And then you love yourself enough for two, so there's no use in loving you."
Soko, gotta love her.

Last Sleep - Marvelous 3
"Well I keep a box of sticks and stones in the back seat of mycar, just in case I see your face with another face for you to scar"
I don't think I need to say more.

Wish You The Worst - Old 97s
"I hope you crash your momma's car. I hope you pass out in some bar.
I hope you catch some kinda flu. Let's say I wish the worst for you."
My favorite fuck you song.

Best Thing You Never Had - Butch Walker
"And I can't like someone who thought they're the only one that mattered, while my heart got shattered,
like a romantic roadkill, my heart is all splattered your ego got fatter. And I hope that you're flattered,
cause you broke this down. The best thing, the best thing, the best thing that you never, never had."
This song gives me chills.

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Not so short after all, huh? But honestly they are all pretty damn good songs, sorry if it's mostly Butch Walker, but he's my favorite as you might know already.


I'll leave you with this:

“Love, though a beautiful beginning, isn’t enough. It’s the practice of honoring and caring for another that’s noble, not the emotion of love itself. The emotion is the easy part.”
— Marcus Flutie (Charmed Thirds)

the January effect

I haven't been blogging much, mostly because I've been reading. I've been working and translaing and hanging out with friends, but mostly reading.

This week JD Salinger passed away; it's not like if I asked myself every day, "what is Salinger doing today?" but the news still hit me hard. I've had a crush on Holden Caulfield since I read the Catcher in the Rye, his rebellion, and depression and just the feeling that he was a real person, a real teenager, even if the book was writting so many years ago, it's still timeless. It's one of the books I will give to my children in their teenage years. Someone in twitter said "I prefer to think JD Salinger has just decided to become extra reclusive." I liked that, that is how I'll like to remember JD.

"When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down the goddam corridor. I was sort of crying. I don't know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, 'Sleep tight, ya morons!'"


My uncle's father in law passed away too, and I felt so bad too, not because of me but because of my cousins, I lost my grandma pretty young and although I'm happy I at least got the chance to meet her, it's still depressing because she shouldn't be a memory, she should be IN my life right now. I don't want them to miss him or need him as much as I need her sometimes.

Also, this week one of my students came up to me and told me she couldn't come to class for the rest of this week because one really close friend had passed away, and they were going to have masses in his name all week at the same time as our class. As she was saying this she started crying. Now, I'm NOT good at comforting people, actually, I suck at it. I avoided going to my uncle's father in law funeral because I know, just know that I'm gonna say an inapropiate comment, or make fun of something when I know I shouldn't, I just can't help it, it's just because I get too nervous, I never know what to say.

My friends know this, some of them tell me they prefer me to crack a joke, and that sometimes it makes them feel better when they have to deal with a sucky situation. But people who don't know me pretty well don't know about my nervousness, so I did the nicest thing I could have done and gave her a hug. I'm not a hugging person, but at that point I felt like hugs were more powerful than anything I could have said.