My thoughts create my world

A couple of months ago, miss hayleyghoover made a video about how grilled cheese is romantic and she mentioned that her favorite love story is the Jessica Darling series, written by Megan McCafferty. As obsessesive as I am, I HAD to read it. I found some really cheap copies on ebay and started reading them over winter break.

The novels are written as a journal, so it felt too familiar for me to be reading them. Jessica Darling is a teenager in New Jersey, her parents don't get her at all, her best friend moves away, fake friends, and a crush on a certain myserious dreg bring all the drama and humor and angst that made me fall in love with the series.

Jessica is so original, and yet I could totally relate to her relationship with her parents or the problems you face when everything around you seems to go just totally opposite from what you want it to go. Her sarcasm and intelligent type of humor is just priceless.

And then there is the boy. Krispy Kreme, Marcus Flutie, he didn't just make Jessica fall for him, he made ME fall for him. Despite his mental games, his coming and going all the time, I loved him from the start. Maybe it was the bad boy turned good appeal, but I want a Marcus just for me. yes. me.

The books are also so great because Jessica grows up in them, yes she makes mistakes like all of us, but you can tell she is growing up. Making big decisions in her life, decisions I have faced before and decisions I will have to make soon, and there is something just so comforting in reading someone else's thoughts about them and realizing that freaking out is like, somewhat normal.

I only got Sloppy Firsts, Second Helpings, Charming Thirds, and Fourth Comings. I haven't read the final book, Perfect Fifths, I bought it but had it delivered to my aunt's house, and my mom went to visit her last week, so it's very likely I'll get it sometime this weekend. :)


I'm gonna post some of my favorite quotes so beware, nothing too spoilery, just thought I should let you know.

"I can't remember the last time my mom was so right about something. Marcus Flutie had zero chance at being my boyfriend and had even less of a shot at being a real friend to me. But that conversation in the Caddie guaranteed that Marcus Flutie would never be nobody. At least, not to me." - Jessica Darling in Sloppy Firsts.

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"Are you quiet because you're surprised or because you're repulsed?"
"Neither," I replied. "I'm quiet because we've done enough talking." - Marcus Flutie and Jessica Darling in Second Helpings


----------------

furious flutter
awakened hummingbird heart
hello hello love - poetry spam # 21 - Marcus Flutie in Charmed Thirds

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"Your kisses scrambled my brain. They manipulated the solar system. They returned Marcus Flutie to the center of my universe. I was defenseless against your pe-Copernican pull." -Jessica Darling in Fourth Comings

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I love those, but I promise the books are SO much better than that. If you get a chance do read them, please.

One last thing, remember the book I mentioned a while ago? Well, it's John Green and David Levithan's new book, Will Grayson, Will Grayson. It's coming out in April and Steph's Bowe is giving away an ARC of the book, so if you'd like one clic here: http://heyteenager.blogspot.com/2010/02/win-arc-of-will-grayson-will-grayson-by.html :)


Much love,

valentine's day & consumism.

I've been drooling over clothes online. Honestly, if Urban Outfitters or Mod Cloth accepted paypal I'd be broke right now, probably selling my iPod to pay my credit card debt.

BTW, If you want to know what to get me for my birthday, (ONLY less than 5 months away!) you could get me these:

HELVETICA TSHIRT

URBAN RENEWAL PRINTED DENIM BODYCON DRESS CHINTZ NOT ABSTRACT

BEACH BLANKET BINGO RETRO SUIT

THIS TIME TOMORROW DRESS

BOW NECKLACE


PINK SWEET HEART SUNGLASSES

MAGNETIC POETRY SET (LOVE)

XRAY GUITAR WALL ART



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A couple of years ago, when I was still in college, people were asking what were our plans for v-day, I was single at the time (actually, as I have been on every single valentine's day, I think I just avoid all the being in a couple thing at all since christmas) anyway, everybody was telling how they would spend it; either celebrating with their significant other, or all by themselves. One of my classmates, who btw was single too, asked us, "Don't you just feel sad?" And I was all like, "Sad?" To which she replied, "Yes, for being alone." I just wanted to punch her right there. But I didn't, it's not her fault that society practically forces us to feel guilty for not being paired on this day.

I'm actually glad it was on a Sunday this year, that way I didn't have to go to work wearing red (as they made us go wearing red tshirts and blue jeans last year) and avoid being forced to accept heart shapped lollipops.

As much as I hate this hallmark holiday, today I was dragged to shop candies and balloons and stuffed animals for my cousins' boyfriends and aunt's husband. I went along and played nice and took care of the little cousin who came along and stopped myself from throwing up in every store who had ridiculous "I<3u" signs on every window, so I decided to give me a prize and got myself a new dress :)

As I did last time with Christmas, I thought I would give you an anti-valentine's day song list. But since I just came up with this idea, it's gonna be a short list, think about it as an EP.

Good Year for the Roses - Elvis Costello
"What a good year for the roses, many blooms still linger there.
The lawn could stand another mowin'. Funny I don't even care"
Quite probably the best breakup song ever written.

A Perfect Sonnet -Bright Eyes
"You can't remember where she said she was going to, but you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song,that you don't want to sing"
I think Conor Oberst is one of the best songwriters out there.

Dear Everybody -JamisonParker
"I haven't seen the sun in about a week and I'm keeping all sharp objects out of reach.
I finally know the taste of love, it's a cross between cheap beer and blood, with an aftertaste of dry sarcastic speech."

So true. Bitting Bullets is good too.

I'll Kill Her - Soko
"She stole my future, she broke my dream. I'll kill her, I'll kill her.
She stole my future when she took you away. If I find her, I swear, I'll kill her"
Funny little song. Lately I have been obsessed with Soko, I so fugging wish she would put out an album already.

It's Fine If You Don't Love Me - Soko
"It's fine if you don't love me, cause I know someone else will. And then you love yourself enough for two, so there's no use in loving you."
Soko, gotta love her.

Last Sleep - Marvelous 3
"Well I keep a box of sticks and stones in the back seat of mycar, just in case I see your face with another face for you to scar"
I don't think I need to say more.

Wish You The Worst - Old 97s
"I hope you crash your momma's car. I hope you pass out in some bar.
I hope you catch some kinda flu. Let's say I wish the worst for you."
My favorite fuck you song.

Best Thing You Never Had - Butch Walker
"And I can't like someone who thought they're the only one that mattered, while my heart got shattered,
like a romantic roadkill, my heart is all splattered your ego got fatter. And I hope that you're flattered,
cause you broke this down. The best thing, the best thing, the best thing that you never, never had."
This song gives me chills.

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Not so short after all, huh? But honestly they are all pretty damn good songs, sorry if it's mostly Butch Walker, but he's my favorite as you might know already.


I'll leave you with this:

“Love, though a beautiful beginning, isn’t enough. It’s the practice of honoring and caring for another that’s noble, not the emotion of love itself. The emotion is the easy part.”
— Marcus Flutie (Charmed Thirds)

the January effect

I haven't been blogging much, mostly because I've been reading. I've been working and translaing and hanging out with friends, but mostly reading.

This week JD Salinger passed away; it's not like if I asked myself every day, "what is Salinger doing today?" but the news still hit me hard. I've had a crush on Holden Caulfield since I read the Catcher in the Rye, his rebellion, and depression and just the feeling that he was a real person, a real teenager, even if the book was writting so many years ago, it's still timeless. It's one of the books I will give to my children in their teenage years. Someone in twitter said "I prefer to think JD Salinger has just decided to become extra reclusive." I liked that, that is how I'll like to remember JD.

"When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down the goddam corridor. I was sort of crying. I don't know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, 'Sleep tight, ya morons!'"


My uncle's father in law passed away too, and I felt so bad too, not because of me but because of my cousins, I lost my grandma pretty young and although I'm happy I at least got the chance to meet her, it's still depressing because she shouldn't be a memory, she should be IN my life right now. I don't want them to miss him or need him as much as I need her sometimes.

Also, this week one of my students came up to me and told me she couldn't come to class for the rest of this week because one really close friend had passed away, and they were going to have masses in his name all week at the same time as our class. As she was saying this she started crying. Now, I'm NOT good at comforting people, actually, I suck at it. I avoided going to my uncle's father in law funeral because I know, just know that I'm gonna say an inapropiate comment, or make fun of something when I know I shouldn't, I just can't help it, it's just because I get too nervous, I never know what to say.

My friends know this, some of them tell me they prefer me to crack a joke, and that sometimes it makes them feel better when they have to deal with a sucky situation. But people who don't know me pretty well don't know about my nervousness, so I did the nicest thing I could have done and gave her a hug. I'm not a hugging person, but at that point I felt like hugs were more powerful than anything I could have said.

New Year, New Beginnings

2010 is going to rock, I just know it.

First Fyfe Dangerfield is releasing his solo album on January 18th. Nevershoutnever is releasing What is Love? on the 26th. Butch Walker and the Black Widow's record 'I Liked It Better When You Had Now Heart' will be in stores on February 23rd. And more importantly, Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan will be on the shelves on April 6th.

:D

Fyfe Dangerfield is the leading man of Guillemots, one of my all time favorite bands. Besides with a name as badass as that one, it's almost impossible not to be good.
Nevershoutnever is Christofer Drew, I love his music even if he signs about love (everybody knows I'm a sucker for bitter break up songs) Besides, Butch produced this one, he can't never disappoint.
Butch Walker's new record, as if there was any doubt I'm going to get that. I'll probably have to wait til next week when I get paid but I think i'm getting the $75 package :)
Last but not least Will Grayson, Will Grayson!! It's not a secret that John Green is my favorite author, and I CANT wait to get this book on my hands.


I just finished GEEKTASTIC and if I havent mentioned before, it's heaven in a book. So many great nerd references that I adored, some of them I couldn't even understand XD but the ones I did were hilarious. Star Wars, Star Trek, Buffy, Lord of the Rings, any fandom, you name it, it's there. I HIGHLY recommend it.

I don't like to make New Year's resolutions because I usually don't keep them, but these are some of my goals for the next year:

- stay at the hard day's night hotel -- that is if I actually get the FLA job.
- learn to play the guitar -- I'm supposed to be calling Alan this week.
- learn at least a few phrases in korean -- I don't think I'm taking the course. I just dont think I'll be able to afford it for this semester. If I dont get the job I'll most definitely be taking this on June-July.
- eat at chipotle -- It was almost a punishment to read in HGHoover's blog about the delicious burritos she gets to eat fairly regularly but to actually see her eat one in a video just made me go crazy. I must eat at this place this year.
- finish the jessica darling series -- i started Second Helpings yesterday :)
- own a vespa -- this is also in case I dont get the job. My current job is 5-10 min away from my house, and vespa's are cheap, also with the gas, I'll most defnitely won't be using it with this kind of weather tho.
- more midnight phone calls -- Yes, I'm talking about you.
- go to austin city limits -- again with the big IF.

I just hate having to depend on something/someone else to make this kind of decisions about MY life. Sigh. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Hopefully time will go back quick.


Freezingly yours,

I laugh more often now, I cry more often now.

This Christmas I got:
The Jessica Darling series, Maureen Johnson's 13 little blue envelopes, and Geektastic, I just started reading the last one I LOVE it.
I also got clothes and over a 1000 pesos worth in itunes gift cards :) My family knows me well.

I had a great time, even tho we missed some people. We ate my favorite christmas meal, sang karaoke, played board games and watched Christmas movies. I'm still a bit bummed we couldn't get A Charlie Brown Christmas tho.

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS?? how sickly sweet everyone gets over the holidays. fine wish everybody a merry christmas and happy new year but don't tell them you looooove them. hell if I want to say I love you I'll say it every day, after every phone call, in every msn convo, cause you never know what might happen.

Oh and you know what I hated about 2009? Vampires. Fugging giant parasites. Know what's better than vampires? Zombies. Or Ninjas. Or pirates. anything but glittery pedophile vampires, and a bland heronine who only bitches and moans and on top of that written with poor grammar.



Anyway to lighten things up:

End of the year survey!
What was the best part of last year?
I GOT CLOSER TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

What was the worst part of last year?
WORK. NO, ACTUALLY, MY FAMILY GETTING SICK.

What was the biggest surprise of last year?
UNEXPECTED EXTENTION OF OUR FAMILY.

What are you most looking forward to next year?
LONDON.

Is there anything you are not looking forward to next year?
GROWING OLDER?

Which new years resolutions did you keep last year?
FINISH ALL THE PAPER WORK TO GET MY COLLEGE DEGREE, GO TO MORE LIVE GIGS AND KEEP MY JOB.

Which new years resolutions did you break last year?
LEARN HOW TO PLAY GUITAR PROPERLY, GET MY DRIVER'S LICENSE.

What will be your new years resolutions next year?
SEE ANSWER ABOVE. OH, AND TRAVEL MORE.

Which resolution are you most likely to break?
THE DRIVER'S LICENSE ONE.

Which resolution are you most likely to keep?
TRAVEL MORE, HOPEFULLY.

What will you be doing on new years eve?
TOASTING WITH STRAWBERRY HILL IN HONOR OF ALASKA YOUNG, MILES "PUDGE" HALTER AND THE COLONEL.

Who will you be with at new years eve?
THE RENTS, MY SIBLINGS, AUNTS AND UNCLES.

Who do you want to kiss to see the new year in?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/luckyman/889354739/sizes/l/ If you know what I mean.

Who will you probably end up kissing to see the new year in?
http://twitpic.com/tvv4e

What was the best song of last year?
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926914 lol I kid.

What was the best TV show of last year?
Glee.

What was the best book you read last year?
GEEKTASTIC

What was the best film of last year?
500 DAYS OF SUMMER

What change would you like to make to your life next year?
BE MORE ORGANIZED. CALL PEOPLE BACK ;)

What change would you like to see in the world next year?
PEACE & LOVE.

Will you be looking for a new relationship?
MAYBE IN THE SECOND SEMESTER.

New house?
HOPEFULLY

What will you not be doing in 2010?
TRUSTING SO MUCH ON PEOPLE WHO DONT DESERVE IT

Any trips planned?
A BIG ONE.

Wedding plans?
HELL NO.

What's on your calendar?
COLDPLAY

What can't you wait for?
SEE ANSWER ABOVE

What happened in '09 that you didn't think would ever happen?
I THINK ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN

Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
HAHAHA I'LL TRY

Will you dress differently this year than you did in 09?
I'M WEARING MORE DRESSES NOW SO YEAH, MAYBE.

Are you going to be in school in 2010?
I WANT TO SO BAD.

How will you make more money in 2010?
I'M SELLING SOME STUFF AND MAYBE KEEP WORKING.

Will you do charity work?
I SHOULD.

Are you going to drink on New Years Eve?
YES, PLEASE.

Will you be nice to people you don't know?
NO.

Do you expect 2010 to be a worse year for you than 2009?
NO. 2010 IS GOING TO ROCK.

How much did you change from this time last year til now?
I THINK I'M MORE FOCUSED NOW.

Do you plan on having a child?
HAHAHA NO.

Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?
I HOPE SO.

Major lifestyle changes?
MOVING TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY, MAYBE?

Will you be moving?
SEE ANSWER ABOVE

What will you make sure doesn't happen in 2010 that happened in 09?
BREAK MY CELLPHONE

Wishes for 2010:
THAT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS STAY CLOSE AND HEALTHY. THAT THEIR WISHES COME TRUE. GET A CERTAIN JOB. GET ON A PLANE. MOVE. CALL PEOPLE MORE OFTEN. PLAY MY GUITAR. LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE. SMILE MORE.


sorry for all the caps.
I wanna learn how to play this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfzGm4OiZX8
Have a great one
Best wishes!

x

Early christmas presents

These are my favorite christmas songs, and since I'm a dork I'm passing them on to you, I hope they makes you as happy as they make me.








1. We Wish You A Merry Christmas - Butch Walker
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ufzrky
This one is currently my ringtone. Don't you just love it? "Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year"



2. 30 Days - Nevershoutnever!
http://www.sendspace.com/file/u73tmz
Christofer Drew is lovely and so is this song. I had a countdown and everything and haven't stopped playing this song since then. "But I got 30 days and I'm gonna make them count, cause I can't call it Christmas without having someone to smile about."



3. Santa Baby - Taylor Swift
http://www.sendspace.com/file/i7rtgp
Yes, I do like some country. Emphasis on the SOME. And yes, I do like Taylor Swift, sometimes. It isn't my favorite version of Santa Baby, but my favorite one is from a youtube video so I'm passing the second favorite. "Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring... and I don't mean on the phone. Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight"



4. All I Want For Christmas Is You - Olivia Olson
http://www.sendspace.com/file/e193byI lovelovelove this girl, she has an amazing voice. This song is from my favorite Christmas movie of all times, Love Actually. "And the sound of children's laughter fills the air. Everyone is singing, I hear those sleigh bells ringing..."



5. All I want for Christmas Is Us - Jason Mraz ft. Tristan Prettyman
http://www.sendspace.com/file/wzcsbj
Similar title, see what I did there ? ;) I love Mraz and his duets, lovely song. "You're the reason that I decorate my yard." BEST line.



6. Last Christmas - Butch Walker & Yuji Oda
http://www.sendspace.com/file/1b4sif
Everybody loves some Wham! and Butch and Yuji do an amazing cover of this classic. "Once bitten and twice shy. I keep my distance but you still catch my eye."



7. Christmas All Over Again - Butch Walker and Taylor Manning
http://www.sendspace.com/file/xqoogy
"And Christmas is a rockin' time, put your body next to mine, underneath the mistletoe we go"



8. The Only Gift That I Need - Dashboard Confessional
http://www.sendspace.com/file/l45e3p
As if I couldn't love Chris Carraba any more. "But who cares if we're apart for the big days ince the small ones that made me fall in love with you "



9. Merry Christmas - Marvelous 3
http://www.sendspace.com/file/d5xx38
Quite, possibly maybe my favorite Christmas song. Brilliant, Butch again. "Jingle bells, shotgun shells, daddy's got a new .44"



10. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues
http://www.sendspace.com/file/9mlrpd
The Pogues are in my opinion one of the most underrated bands ever. Plus, they're Irish. "You scumbag! You maggot! You cheap lousy faggot! Happy christmas your arse, I pray god it's our last."



11. Happy Xmas (War is Over) - McFly
http://www.sendspace.com/file/xa8uaw
I'm sure you have heard Lennon's song, so here are the kids from McFly with their own version. "So this is Xmas, and what have you done?"


Best Wishes!
Christmassy yours,

I love December.

This is by far my favorite time of the year. Right now, it must be 0°C outside, I have TONS of work to do, I think I'm getting sick and I have the worst toothache I've ever had and still I'm smiling and drinking hot chocolate and listening to Christmas songs :)

Remember in Gilmore Girls how Luke had his dark day? Well, my dark day was this last friday, my grandmother passed away when I was 6 and to this day I haven't been able to completely get over it. There has never been a way for me to go away and fish by myself so I'm usually just moody this day. To make things worse it's my mom and dad's wedding anniversary, so while sometimes we celebrated with a dinner and everything I felt guilty for not having my grandma around. We usually have a mass in her name, I don't like going to church but always did on the day she passed away
but this is the 3rd year I haven't been able to go, the last two I have been at work and the first one I was in Texas.

This year was a bit different, I slept for most of the day, only had a couple of classes during the night and actually some of the people from work managed to get a smile on my face, so I'm thankful for that.

Apart from that I have been busy going to family reunions and birthday parties, last saturday I went with Aixchel to a concert, it was a Beatles tribute show, and mind you I don't really like covers but decided this was the closest I'd ever be from the real thing so I might as well enjoy it.

First some kids played, and ohmygod they made me feel ashamed of owning a guitar, they were SO good. And one of them looked like Chucky's son! But honestly he was so great and so adorable and had his tough face on all the time, plus he was a bassist, I have always had a thing for bass players :)

Then we waited and waited and sat on the floor of the dirties venue I've ever been, and while everybody was offering us drinks my friend and I were eating candies and sucking lolly pops. We're HARDCORE like that. We basically waited til midnight cause that's when Jumbo decided to play and while they did get people to yell and boo at them for the first 3 minutes we all forgot about it when they started playing . They played most of my favorites, and it was a great night.

Videos because I'm awesome:







I started Christmas shopping and while I spent the whole weekend telling my parents I wanted a pair of skates for Christmas, I went to Walmart with my dad and couldn't help to buy myself a pair XD I had ones when I was like 7(?) but I sucked at skating hah so I have to teach myself again. People at walmart must hate me by the way, they had the skates all the way up these shelves so we asked for help and I kept changing them cause I didn't know what size they were and when we found the correct one I had to change them again cause they were yellow and I wanted them in blue. lol

I'm also working on something for Christmas for everybody so I shall post that soon.

Anyway, I hope your holidays are as awesome as mine are right now.


Best Wishes,
Gaby

PS. I'm rereading Let it Snow by John Green, Maureen Johnson and Lauren Myracle. It's so amazing and fantastic and I adore this little book so much. I think you should buy it. "And sometimes you can convince yourself that it is not the middle but will last forever. That middle is never the end, though." -John Green's Let it Snow