I came back home over a month ago.
It's been one of the hardest months of my life. Deception, lies, betrayal, lost. I've kind of accepted it now, but it seems to be a long process.
I might write more often, that always seems to cheer me up.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”
— Chuck Klosterman
— Chuck Klosterman
Saturday, May 14, 2011
love
"I know we all like to think of the heart as the center of the body, but at this moment, every concious part of me is in the hand he holds." - David Levithan
Thursday, March 10, 2011
drained
I talked about my family to my students this week.
How ironic.
I didn't show them many pictures. I said I'm not that sentimental like to carry around things from them. I know assistants who even brought a bit of their mother's perfume and their brother's cologne to be able to smell it and remember them. I said I didn't need any of that stuff. Because I truly believe they are always with me.
My aunt passed away this week.
She was a couple of years younger than my mom. She had been sick for a while but everything was under control when I left. And this was one of my biggest fears coming here.
I begged my sister to tell me if anything happened. To her, to my uncle, to my parents. I knew anything could happen, so I begged to always keep me up to date and be honest. I told her I'd rather know sooner than later.
My aunt had been in the hospital for a week, and even if there were times when it seemed like she was going to get better, she was still pretty sick. I'm just glad she's resting now. I'm also glad my family is better, they looked so worried, they looked tired when I talked to them on skype.
But after talking to them tonight I can see that they're better. I can see that they're at peace. Well it was more like they talked to me cause I couldn't speak, I've been crying all night.
I just wish they know I'd give up everything, I'd give up everything right now just to be able to give them a kiss and a hug.
“We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, to find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad.” - John Green
How ironic.
I didn't show them many pictures. I said I'm not that sentimental like to carry around things from them. I know assistants who even brought a bit of their mother's perfume and their brother's cologne to be able to smell it and remember them. I said I didn't need any of that stuff. Because I truly believe they are always with me.
My aunt passed away this week.
She was a couple of years younger than my mom. She had been sick for a while but everything was under control when I left. And this was one of my biggest fears coming here.
I begged my sister to tell me if anything happened. To her, to my uncle, to my parents. I knew anything could happen, so I begged to always keep me up to date and be honest. I told her I'd rather know sooner than later.
My aunt had been in the hospital for a week, and even if there were times when it seemed like she was going to get better, she was still pretty sick. I'm just glad she's resting now. I'm also glad my family is better, they looked so worried, they looked tired when I talked to them on skype.
But after talking to them tonight I can see that they're better. I can see that they're at peace. Well it was more like they talked to me cause I couldn't speak, I've been crying all night.
I just wish they know I'd give up everything, I'd give up everything right now just to be able to give them a kiss and a hug.
“We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, to find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad.” - John Green
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
"She's cinematic and I'm a fucking sitcom."
So much has happened since I last wrote here, and I'm only writing right now because I'm trying to avoid planning for tomorrow's class...
We'll start with Christmas... it was nice. We got to hang out and explore around Brum, we got to go to museums and a castle and Shakespeare's birthplace which I totally loved. But I still felt nostalgic, I managed to not cry even when I skyped with my family on the 25th, and they were telling me what they did and the games they played and how even being so far away I was still with them.
Now, New Year's... New Year's was AWESOME. We left for London, packed a bottles of vodka/wine/whisky and headed out to watch the fireworks in front of the Big Ben, i've seen 4th of July parties and I'm sorry America, but the British are better with the fireworks, it was almost ten minutes of them and god, it was lovely. I got to see friends that I hadnt seen since July, after the fireworks we walked around Soho, not being able to go into a bar since we still had the bottles with us so we decided to finish them in a corner, and what better thing to do when you are drunk in a foreign country? that's right, get nostalgic and sing mexican songs at the top of your lungs, we were singing songs I'm even embarrased to admit that i know the words of them, but since we didn't really know anybody there we didn't care. We were a hit, we had spanish/venezuelan/french people coming up to us and asking to get a picture with us, what song was that? what language is it? it was fun. After the drinking and the singing we got into a club only for less than an hour cause they were closing, but we still got to dance to some pretty awesome 70s songs. After that we decided that we were hungry and the only thing open at 5:30am is a McDo so that was our choice, we celebrated New Year's in Mexico (6hourdifference) while eating chips and toasted to the new year with soda. Then headed back to the train station since we were leaving at 10am. London is amazing and I can't wait to go back soon. All in all it was one of the best nights I can remember.
Obviously going around and spending so much money traveling only left me broke. Happy, but still broke. Still, I managed to get myself some new clothes and shoes and bits and things I needed for the house. Oh, and a musical instrument which I'm trying to teach myself how to play it, I figured I needed something to keep me busy in case I got bored, but I still haven't played it much. I'm not telling you what it is cause I've decided that if I don't get to play at least one decent song then I'll sell it before I leave. If I actually manage to get it, then this baby is coming home with me. I need to name it too.
After coming back and starting school again life has been pretty slow and boring. And cold, pretty cold because of the snow. But today, coming back from work, while I was waiting for the bus, I caught a glimpse of the city hall, and I just stood there staring at it for a couple of minutes, with the rain taking away the ice and all the dirt it looked beautiful. That's one of the things I love the most about rain, it cleans everything, it makes it look new, even if it is hundreds of years old.
I'm spending a bunch of time on tumblr. I've been re-watching Everwood since season 1, I plan to continue with this at least until all of my favourite shows start again. I'm planning a trip to York and to the land of the Beatles soon, so that should be fun. I promise I'll be writing about that.
Actually, since we're talking about New Year's, lets take a look at my goals for the past year:
- stay at the hard day's night hotel -- that is if I actually get the FLA job. ---- I HAVEN'T BEEN TO LIVERPOOL... YET.
- learn to play the guitar -- I'm supposed to be calling Alan this week. ---- WHAT DO YOU DO AFTER YOUR TEACHER DROPS YOU INSTEAD OF YOU DROPPING HIM? OH, YEAH, TOTALLY FORGET ABOUT IT AND LET YOUR KICKASS GUITAR GET DIRTY AND RUSTY AND UGLY.
- learn at least a few phrases in korean -- I don't think I'm taking the course. I just dont think I'll be able to afford it for this semester. If I dont get the job I'll most definitely be taking this on June-July. ---- OBVIOUSLY DID NOT MEET THIS ONE, I CAN SAY A COUPLE OF THINGS BUT I'D STILL LOVE TO LEARN IT IN A PROPER COURSE.
- eat at chipotle -- It was almost a punishment to read in HGHoover's blog about the delicious burritos she gets to eat fairly regularly but to actually see her eat one in a video just made me go crazy. I must eat at this place this year. ---- DIDN'T GET TO GO TO CHPOTLE BUT IF IT COUNTS, I DID EAT IN JUST ABOUT EVERY BURRITO STAND I SAW SINCE I GOT HERE, I EVEN GOT A JOB OFFER FROM ONE OF THEM!
- finish the jessica darling series -- i started Second Helpings yesterday :) ---- FINISHED. LOVED THEM. HAVING PANIC ATTACKS FROM NOT HAVING THEM AROUND.
- own a vespa -- this is also in case I dont get the job. My current job is 5-10 min away from my house, and vespa's are cheap, also with the gas, I'll most defnitely won't be using it with this kind of weather tho. ---- LOL NO VESPA.
- more midnight phone calls -- Yes, I'm talking about you. ---- YES, MIDNIGHT CALLS. NOT TO THE PERSON I WAS MAKING THE REFERENCE TO THOUGH.
- go to austin city limits -- again with the big IF. ---- I DIDN'T GO TO THE ACL THIS YEAR CAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY PACKING TO COME TO THE UK. I hope hope hope I can get $50 tickets in February tho.
that was it, in my opinion I didn't do so bad. lol to be fair I did accomplish some things that I had wanted to do since I was little, and I still have this year* to meet the ones that I didn't get to do.
Things I'm looing forward in 2011:
- Visit the Beatles birthplace, visit Austen's birthplace, go to London again.
- Eat some proper mexican food because as much as I love Britain, their food sucks.
- Meet new people.
- Start learning another language.
- Find a job after I'm done with this one.
- Go to more gigs.
- Hug my dog.
Butch is working on a new album, I'm dying to hear that. David Levithan's Dash and Lily's book of dares is out now, I need to read that. Also the Lover's Dictionary is supposed to come out this month here, I can't wait to read it. Oh, and Maureen Johnson's the Last Little Blue Envelope comes out this year. Aaaahh so many books, I might give away all of my clohtes in order to carry all of this back home with me.
Ok, I think that's it for me,
TTFN
sexy: Zooey Deschanel. Okay, I admit it, she is not the best and most amazing actress out there, but she is one of the best singers, I love the style of her music as well as her fashion sense. I can't wait to see her new movie, My Idiot Brother.
unsexy: Guns. And people killing each other. In the words of the brilliant John Green, "It is very sad to me that some people are so intent on leaving their mark on the world that they don’t care if that mark is a scar.”
song of the day: ...I had to think about this one a lot, because since I started watching Everwood I remembered a whole bunch of songs and artist that I had forgotten about, but to share something I just discovered we'll go with... Collisions by Sound of guns.
* and I say this year because according to "our preditions" the world is ending in 2012 XD so good luck with that.
We'll start with Christmas... it was nice. We got to hang out and explore around Brum, we got to go to museums and a castle and Shakespeare's birthplace which I totally loved. But I still felt nostalgic, I managed to not cry even when I skyped with my family on the 25th, and they were telling me what they did and the games they played and how even being so far away I was still with them.
Now, New Year's... New Year's was AWESOME. We left for London, packed a bottles of vodka/wine/whisky and headed out to watch the fireworks in front of the Big Ben, i've seen 4th of July parties and I'm sorry America, but the British are better with the fireworks, it was almost ten minutes of them and god, it was lovely. I got to see friends that I hadnt seen since July, after the fireworks we walked around Soho, not being able to go into a bar since we still had the bottles with us so we decided to finish them in a corner, and what better thing to do when you are drunk in a foreign country? that's right, get nostalgic and sing mexican songs at the top of your lungs, we were singing songs I'm even embarrased to admit that i know the words of them, but since we didn't really know anybody there we didn't care. We were a hit, we had spanish/venezuelan/french people coming up to us and asking to get a picture with us, what song was that? what language is it? it was fun. After the drinking and the singing we got into a club only for less than an hour cause they were closing, but we still got to dance to some pretty awesome 70s songs. After that we decided that we were hungry and the only thing open at 5:30am is a McDo so that was our choice, we celebrated New Year's in Mexico (6hourdifference) while eating chips and toasted to the new year with soda. Then headed back to the train station since we were leaving at 10am. London is amazing and I can't wait to go back soon. All in all it was one of the best nights I can remember.
Obviously going around and spending so much money traveling only left me broke. Happy, but still broke. Still, I managed to get myself some new clothes and shoes and bits and things I needed for the house. Oh, and a musical instrument which I'm trying to teach myself how to play it, I figured I needed something to keep me busy in case I got bored, but I still haven't played it much. I'm not telling you what it is cause I've decided that if I don't get to play at least one decent song then I'll sell it before I leave. If I actually manage to get it, then this baby is coming home with me. I need to name it too.
After coming back and starting school again life has been pretty slow and boring. And cold, pretty cold because of the snow. But today, coming back from work, while I was waiting for the bus, I caught a glimpse of the city hall, and I just stood there staring at it for a couple of minutes, with the rain taking away the ice and all the dirt it looked beautiful. That's one of the things I love the most about rain, it cleans everything, it makes it look new, even if it is hundreds of years old.
I'm spending a bunch of time on tumblr. I've been re-watching Everwood since season 1, I plan to continue with this at least until all of my favourite shows start again. I'm planning a trip to York and to the land of the Beatles soon, so that should be fun. I promise I'll be writing about that.
Actually, since we're talking about New Year's, lets take a look at my goals for the past year:
- stay at the hard day's night hotel -- that is if I actually get the FLA job. ---- I HAVEN'T BEEN TO LIVERPOOL... YET.
- learn to play the guitar -- I'm supposed to be calling Alan this week. ---- WHAT DO YOU DO AFTER YOUR TEACHER DROPS YOU INSTEAD OF YOU DROPPING HIM? OH, YEAH, TOTALLY FORGET ABOUT IT AND LET YOUR KICKASS GUITAR GET DIRTY AND RUSTY AND UGLY.
- learn at least a few phrases in korean -- I don't think I'm taking the course. I just dont think I'll be able to afford it for this semester. If I dont get the job I'll most definitely be taking this on June-July. ---- OBVIOUSLY DID NOT MEET THIS ONE, I CAN SAY A COUPLE OF THINGS BUT I'D STILL LOVE TO LEARN IT IN A PROPER COURSE.
- eat at chipotle -- It was almost a punishment to read in HGHoover's blog about the delicious burritos she gets to eat fairly regularly but to actually see her eat one in a video just made me go crazy. I must eat at this place this year. ---- DIDN'T GET TO GO TO CHPOTLE BUT IF IT COUNTS, I DID EAT IN JUST ABOUT EVERY BURRITO STAND I SAW SINCE I GOT HERE, I EVEN GOT A JOB OFFER FROM ONE OF THEM!
- finish the jessica darling series -- i started Second Helpings yesterday :) ---- FINISHED. LOVED THEM. HAVING PANIC ATTACKS FROM NOT HAVING THEM AROUND.
- own a vespa -- this is also in case I dont get the job. My current job is 5-10 min away from my house, and vespa's are cheap, also with the gas, I'll most defnitely won't be using it with this kind of weather tho. ---- LOL NO VESPA.
- more midnight phone calls -- Yes, I'm talking about you. ---- YES, MIDNIGHT CALLS. NOT TO THE PERSON I WAS MAKING THE REFERENCE TO THOUGH.
- go to austin city limits -- again with the big IF. ---- I DIDN'T GO TO THE ACL THIS YEAR CAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY PACKING TO COME TO THE UK. I hope hope hope I can get $50 tickets in February tho.
that was it, in my opinion I didn't do so bad. lol to be fair I did accomplish some things that I had wanted to do since I was little, and I still have this year* to meet the ones that I didn't get to do.
Things I'm looing forward in 2011:
- Visit the Beatles birthplace, visit Austen's birthplace, go to London again.
- Eat some proper mexican food because as much as I love Britain, their food sucks.
- Meet new people.
- Start learning another language.
- Find a job after I'm done with this one.
- Go to more gigs.
- Hug my dog.
Butch is working on a new album, I'm dying to hear that. David Levithan's Dash and Lily's book of dares is out now, I need to read that. Also the Lover's Dictionary is supposed to come out this month here, I can't wait to read it. Oh, and Maureen Johnson's the Last Little Blue Envelope comes out this year. Aaaahh so many books, I might give away all of my clohtes in order to carry all of this back home with me.
Ok, I think that's it for me,
TTFN
sexy: Zooey Deschanel. Okay, I admit it, she is not the best and most amazing actress out there, but she is one of the best singers, I love the style of her music as well as her fashion sense. I can't wait to see her new movie, My Idiot Brother.
unsexy: Guns. And people killing each other. In the words of the brilliant John Green, "It is very sad to me that some people are so intent on leaving their mark on the world that they don’t care if that mark is a scar.”
song of the day: ...I had to think about this one a lot, because since I started watching Everwood I remembered a whole bunch of songs and artist that I had forgotten about, but to share something I just discovered we'll go with... Collisions by Sound of guns.
* and I say this year because according to "our preditions" the world is ending in 2012 XD so good luck with that.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
"Do genuine kisses exist in a world of plastic mistletoe?"
This Christmas is going to be a weird one, the only thing I know for sure is that I'm gonna be spending it in Brum with a couple of mexicans and any of the brummies who isn't able to get a fly back home. Who knows what's on the menu and won't be getting many presents this year, and with the family away, I just know it won't be the same. I just hope I don't get depressed on Christmas day, that'd be a first.
Anyway, a bit late this year, but this weekend has been the only time I have had free just for me. And I might be doing this to avoid laundry/packing/writing cards/wrapping presents.
Christmas Presents:
Blue Christmas - A Fine Frenzy
Not a big fan, but I really like her voice.
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - She & Him
*melts*
Let it snow - Michael Bublè
But as long as you love me so...
A Great Big Sled - The Killers
I wanna roll around like a kid in the snow, I wanna relearn what I already know...
Twelve Days of Christmas - Relient K
but I can bet those are terrible gifts to give...
Merry Christmas (I don't want to fight tonight) - The Ramones
Nice song, for those of you who don't like the cheesy-ness of the holidays.
Santa Claus is coming to town - Sugarcult
He knows when you're awake... I can't be the only one who thinks that's creepy.
I wish it was Christmas today - Julian Casablancas
julian + christmas = love.
Yule Shoot Your Eye Out - Fall Out Boy
Don't come home for Christmas, you're the last thing I wanna see, underneath the Christmas tree...
Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass - All Time Low
when I gave you my heart, you ripped apart, like a wrapping paper trash...
Christmas at 22 - The Wonder Years
we'll find a house party when the bars close. we'll never spend the holidays alone, proving once again that there's a reason my friends still tend to call this place home.
Freezingly yours,
G
xxx
PS. I can't really complain that much, I'll be here for New Year's :D
Hope you have a great one!
Anyway, a bit late this year, but this weekend has been the only time I have had free just for me. And I might be doing this to avoid laundry/packing/writing cards/wrapping presents.
Christmas Presents:
Blue Christmas - A Fine Frenzy
Not a big fan, but I really like her voice.
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - She & Him
*melts*
Let it snow - Michael Bublè
But as long as you love me so...
A Great Big Sled - The Killers
I wanna roll around like a kid in the snow, I wanna relearn what I already know...
Twelve Days of Christmas - Relient K
but I can bet those are terrible gifts to give...
Merry Christmas (I don't want to fight tonight) - The Ramones
Nice song, for those of you who don't like the cheesy-ness of the holidays.
Santa Claus is coming to town - Sugarcult
He knows when you're awake... I can't be the only one who thinks that's creepy.
I wish it was Christmas today - Julian Casablancas
julian + christmas = love.
Yule Shoot Your Eye Out - Fall Out Boy
Don't come home for Christmas, you're the last thing I wanna see, underneath the Christmas tree...
Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass - All Time Low
when I gave you my heart, you ripped apart, like a wrapping paper trash...
Christmas at 22 - The Wonder Years
we'll find a house party when the bars close. we'll never spend the holidays alone, proving once again that there's a reason my friends still tend to call this place home.
Freezingly yours,
G
xxx
PS. I can't really complain that much, I'll be here for New Year's :D
Hope you have a great one!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I have this thing with books.
I have memorized paragraphs from my favorite books, so that when I'm going through something similar in my life, or when a certain aspect of it reminds me of a certain part, I can pick up the book and reread that part. No matter how many times I've read it, I can always find comfort in it.
For me, one of the most difficult things about being away from home is that I'm not able to do that. I'm fully aware that I could not pack an entire library to bring with me, but the fact that I only have 4 (and I recently got 2 of those) books with me is kind of depressing. It's just not enough.
I desperately need to read Sloppy Firsts. I need to read about Jessica getting Marcus "Xmas" card, I need to read about Marcus calling her to tell her he needs "to be consoled" on New Year's Eve. I just NEED to.
I'm supposed to be planning tomorrow's activities but all I can focus is on this. I actually went to Waterstones and whs yesterday to see if they had it, but no, apparently I'm always doomed to live in a country where most people haven't heard of the books that I love. Damn my love for american YA writers!
TTFN
Sexy: Flynn Rider. Have you seen Tangled yet? Disney, I love you.
Unsexy: The french. Enough said.
Song of the day: House Song by the Ministry of Magic. Love it.
---------------------------
ETA: found a part online! not exactly the book, but probably the best next thing:
"Why are you calling?"
Was he calling just to chat? Was he calling for no reason at all? Just because … ?
"Mia broke up with me," Marcus said. "This is a first for me."
My head pounded, knowing that this meant things were about to become a lot more complicated. Or easier. Depending on the way you looked at it.
"She did? When?"
"She mailed me a Merry Christmas-I’m-Breaking-Up-with-You card. I’ll read it to you," he said. He cleared his throat. "Dear Marcus. Merry Christmas. I’m breaking up with you. Mia."
"It does not say that."
"You’re right," he said. "But it would be so classic if it did."
"So why did she break up with you?"
"Well, she said it’s because I’m no fun. I don’t drink or drug anymore, so I’m no fun. I go to AA meetings instead of hanging out, so I’m no fun. And I do homework instead of having sex, so I’m no fun. I guess she wanted to break up with me before New Year’s Eve so she could finally have fun."
I was too busy thinking about him doing homework instead of having sex to reply.
"The reason I’m calling is because I need to spend New Year’s Eve with you."
Need. Not want. Need.
"Why?"
"Can’t you hear the devastation in my voice?"
"No," I said. "You sound holly-jolly to me." He really did.
"It’s all an act," he said. "I need to be consoled."
"By who?"
"By who?" he said, insulted. "By you, of course."
Of course. Consoled. Consolation prize. Runner-up. Second best. Oh, wait. Not sloppy seconds. Sloppy firsts.
"So I’ll see you on New Year’s Eve," he said, hanging up before I could refuse.
For me, one of the most difficult things about being away from home is that I'm not able to do that. I'm fully aware that I could not pack an entire library to bring with me, but the fact that I only have 4 (and I recently got 2 of those) books with me is kind of depressing. It's just not enough.
I desperately need to read Sloppy Firsts. I need to read about Jessica getting Marcus "Xmas" card, I need to read about Marcus calling her to tell her he needs "to be consoled" on New Year's Eve. I just NEED to.
I'm supposed to be planning tomorrow's activities but all I can focus is on this. I actually went to Waterstones and whs yesterday to see if they had it, but no, apparently I'm always doomed to live in a country where most people haven't heard of the books that I love. Damn my love for american YA writers!
TTFN
Sexy: Flynn Rider. Have you seen Tangled yet? Disney, I love you.
Unsexy: The french. Enough said.
Song of the day: House Song by the Ministry of Magic. Love it.
---------------------------
ETA: found a part online! not exactly the book, but probably the best next thing:
"Why are you calling?"
Was he calling just to chat? Was he calling for no reason at all? Just because … ?
"Mia broke up with me," Marcus said. "This is a first for me."
My head pounded, knowing that this meant things were about to become a lot more complicated. Or easier. Depending on the way you looked at it.
"She did? When?"
"She mailed me a Merry Christmas-I’m-Breaking-Up-with-You card. I’ll read it to you," he said. He cleared his throat. "Dear Marcus. Merry Christmas. I’m breaking up with you. Mia."
"It does not say that."
"You’re right," he said. "But it would be so classic if it did."
"So why did she break up with you?"
"Well, she said it’s because I’m no fun. I don’t drink or drug anymore, so I’m no fun. I go to AA meetings instead of hanging out, so I’m no fun. And I do homework instead of having sex, so I’m no fun. I guess she wanted to break up with me before New Year’s Eve so she could finally have fun."
I was too busy thinking about him doing homework instead of having sex to reply.
"The reason I’m calling is because I need to spend New Year’s Eve with you."
Need. Not want. Need.
"Why?"
"Can’t you hear the devastation in my voice?"
"No," I said. "You sound holly-jolly to me." He really did.
"It’s all an act," he said. "I need to be consoled."
"By who?"
"By who?" he said, insulted. "By you, of course."
Of course. Consoled. Consolation prize. Runner-up. Second best. Oh, wait. Not sloppy seconds. Sloppy firsts.
"So I’ll see you on New Year’s Eve," he said, hanging up before I could refuse.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
far away from close
Everyday when I'm walking down the street, or when I'm riding the bus, or even when I'm at school, I see you.
I catch a glimpse of your face, or your smile, or your hair, or your walk, or the way you dress, and I just have to do a double take, even when I already know it isn't you.
It can't be you, and it won't be you but I still have to double check.
17 hours, over 5000 miles away, and I still see you.
I catch a glimpse of your face, or your smile, or your hair, or your walk, or the way you dress, and I just have to do a double take, even when I already know it isn't you.
It can't be you, and it won't be you but I still have to double check.
17 hours, over 5000 miles away, and I still see you.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
In spite of all the danger...
This week has been an emotional one.
In spite of having an awesome, awesome time last weekend. Did I mention it was awesome? I went to Brum to celebrate my friend's bday, she's also an assistant and I felt that if I were to spend my birthday here I'd want to spend it with friends. The girls who live there were absolutely super nice to me, and gave me mexican food and jalapeños, since they were smarter than me and packed some cans.
I often try to find similar things between sheffield and my home town, we're an industrial city, sheffield is an industrial city; they have hills, we have mountains*... but sheffield is quite small compared to Monterrey, I surely felt more of a big city vibe from Brum that made me feel at home, oh, I wish they would have sent me there instead.
Just to give you an idea, the first night I was there we went straight from the coach station, where they picked me up, to the cinema. Since there were no tickets left we went to a club, still carrying my backpack and sleeping bag. Getting drinks for free, dancing to Tina Turner in the gay bar I was dragged into. Walking out of said bar at early hours in the morning to go grab a bite to eat, witnessing a street fight between two guys while we were inside of the restaurant eating our chips, then seeing how a mature woman, maybe three times my size, pull down her pants and moon a police officer to apparently "show the injuries" she recieved from said fight. This was just the first night I was there.
We were supposed to see HP7 while I was there but we simply did not have time, and with as much fun as I was having, I didn't even care (blasphemy!) I still haven't seen it cause now nobody in sheffield wants to go with me, but I'm holding on alright. Spoiler free still, I keep joking with some of my friends that I might wait til next year and watch the DVD before seeing the second part, wouldn't that be EPIC?
But yeah, back to the emotional part, I came back on monday and it was my mother's bday, while she was out shopping when I called my dad and sister (and younger cousins who are visiting) told me "we have a surprise!" then sister leaves the room and brings my dog along, and she picks her up to show me the dog is as fat as a watermelon. Well, maybe not a watermelon, more like a papaya. My baby is having babies, and just then and there I started crying my eyes out, I must have cried for like five minutes before I could hold it and start talking again. While I absolutely adore that she's preggers and I so wanted her to have puppies, it suddenly hit me, I won't be there. I'm missing out on that and I already felt so guilty for leaving her behind. Most people don't get it, mom even said that I have cried more for the dog than what I have cried for them, and I might have, but see, I can talk to my parents, I can speak to my friends and see everybody on skype, and I can see her as well but she can't see me. I call her name and she starts looking for me, like if I'm there when I'm not. When I was thinking about buying a dog, someone told me that when you get a chihuahua you never feel alone, and that's true. She's been there for me when boys were jerks, when my job sucked, when I was fighting with my parents. I just wish I could let her know that I love her and that I haven't forgotten about her, how do you explain that to a dog? My only consolation is that I know my best friend will be there for her when she goes into labour, I already told them to text me, at whatever time it happens.
To make things worse it was my mom's bday and I only talked to her for like an hour. It was my favourite cousin's bday yesterday and she was going through a crisis and I couldn't be there for her, I know her so well that i know she only needed a hug and someone to calm her down cause as I told her, everything was just fine, but I wasn't even able to do that. And today's my aunt's bday as well, with everything that happened this year, we're so lucky to have her with us one more birthday, AND I just heard her daughter (my cousin) is getting married too. Talk about missing out on celebrations. And this is just birthdays, imagine how I'll be when Christmas comes around.
I didn't tell a lot of people about this, just a few close friends, but people did notice here. My housemate asked me if I was alright, she never asks me things. My boss asked me how I was doing, if I was adapting well to the place; we never really work together or talk at all since he's french and I'm mostly with the spanish teachers, so that was odd. The other assistant and the teachers-in-training just kida left me alone, which I appreciated. But despite being homesick, I'm doing okay.
They say it might snow tomorrow, and while I'd love to see it, I would love to see it from my window, close to the heather, wrapped in my duvet and drinking tea, not walking in the cold to go to school. Meh, I just hope I can survive the cold. Most of my students must think I have a very limited vocabulary since I only talk to them in Spanish and when they see me in the halls and ask me how I am, I usually answer "Cold!" I bet they think it's the only word I know, just like they can only answer "Bien!" when I ask them the same question.
I don't feel like going to visit another town this weekend, apart from the cold, I don't get paid til saturday and I should really clean this place. I'm starting to forget what colour the carpet is! But I might change my mind.
To balance this post, here's a list of hings that make me happy right now:
- Skype: paulo coelho is having a contest on twitter, he asked "what is joy" my entry was "right now, the skype incoming call sound" it makes me smile every time.
- cadbury chocolate. I don't think I need to elaborate more.
- Christmassy decorations. (that's sheffield's rail station btw) And anything that has to do with Christmas, I'm just blocking the part where I won't be home and focusing on the decorations, the food and tv shows. I already started putting the christmas playlist on repeat and I should be starting to read Let it Snow (yet again) sometime this weekend.
- Glee and Modern Family. I adore Kurt and don't give a crap if the whole show is about him. Besides, that wedding? ADORABLE. Also I looooove Phil Dunphy** because let's face it, he couldn't get any cuter/funnier.
that's it,
TTFN
Song of the day: In spite of all the danger, cover of the Beatles by the Nowhere boys. I just watched this move and it's SO good. Thomas Sangster, as if I couldn't love you any more, you had to go and learn how to play lefty just so you could be Paul, perfect even if he looks nothing like Paul. And Aaron Johnson, what can I say, you did an awesome job as John and to me, you are will always be (to put it in Georgia's words) a sex god.
Sexy: Aaron Johnson, just look at that. Plus, guy can fuckin' sing. PLUS, he seems to like older gals. Bad side? He's engaged to 43 year old director, sam taylor wood, and they're expecting a baby.
Unsexy: Creepy guy at the bus, like yeah, I can be nice to the neighbors but don't expect me to star/keep a conversation with you for a while. He either lives near or works near my house so I just get off a stop before or after mine whenever I see him on the bus, but that's just cause I don't want him to see where I live. Not because I think he could try anything anyway.
* I'm already working on a love/hate sheffield post, I just need to... finish it.
** Also working on a theory I discussed with my friend F, about how I'm only attracted not only to older AND married men, but to men with children. I'm such a failure sometimes.
In spite of having an awesome, awesome time last weekend. Did I mention it was awesome? I went to Brum to celebrate my friend's bday, she's also an assistant and I felt that if I were to spend my birthday here I'd want to spend it with friends. The girls who live there were absolutely super nice to me, and gave me mexican food and jalapeños, since they were smarter than me and packed some cans.
I often try to find similar things between sheffield and my home town, we're an industrial city, sheffield is an industrial city; they have hills, we have mountains*... but sheffield is quite small compared to Monterrey, I surely felt more of a big city vibe from Brum that made me feel at home, oh, I wish they would have sent me there instead.
Just to give you an idea, the first night I was there we went straight from the coach station, where they picked me up, to the cinema. Since there were no tickets left we went to a club, still carrying my backpack and sleeping bag. Getting drinks for free, dancing to Tina Turner in the gay bar I was dragged into. Walking out of said bar at early hours in the morning to go grab a bite to eat, witnessing a street fight between two guys while we were inside of the restaurant eating our chips, then seeing how a mature woman, maybe three times my size, pull down her pants and moon a police officer to apparently "show the injuries" she recieved from said fight. This was just the first night I was there.
We were supposed to see HP7 while I was there but we simply did not have time, and with as much fun as I was having, I didn't even care (blasphemy!) I still haven't seen it cause now nobody in sheffield wants to go with me, but I'm holding on alright. Spoiler free still, I keep joking with some of my friends that I might wait til next year and watch the DVD before seeing the second part, wouldn't that be EPIC?
But yeah, back to the emotional part, I came back on monday and it was my mother's bday, while she was out shopping when I called my dad and sister (and younger cousins who are visiting) told me "we have a surprise!" then sister leaves the room and brings my dog along, and she picks her up to show me the dog is as fat as a watermelon. Well, maybe not a watermelon, more like a papaya. My baby is having babies, and just then and there I started crying my eyes out, I must have cried for like five minutes before I could hold it and start talking again. While I absolutely adore that she's preggers and I so wanted her to have puppies, it suddenly hit me, I won't be there. I'm missing out on that and I already felt so guilty for leaving her behind. Most people don't get it, mom even said that I have cried more for the dog than what I have cried for them, and I might have, but see, I can talk to my parents, I can speak to my friends and see everybody on skype, and I can see her as well but she can't see me. I call her name and she starts looking for me, like if I'm there when I'm not. When I was thinking about buying a dog, someone told me that when you get a chihuahua you never feel alone, and that's true. She's been there for me when boys were jerks, when my job sucked, when I was fighting with my parents. I just wish I could let her know that I love her and that I haven't forgotten about her, how do you explain that to a dog? My only consolation is that I know my best friend will be there for her when she goes into labour, I already told them to text me, at whatever time it happens.
To make things worse it was my mom's bday and I only talked to her for like an hour. It was my favourite cousin's bday yesterday and she was going through a crisis and I couldn't be there for her, I know her so well that i know she only needed a hug and someone to calm her down cause as I told her, everything was just fine, but I wasn't even able to do that. And today's my aunt's bday as well, with everything that happened this year, we're so lucky to have her with us one more birthday, AND I just heard her daughter (my cousin) is getting married too. Talk about missing out on celebrations. And this is just birthdays, imagine how I'll be when Christmas comes around.
I didn't tell a lot of people about this, just a few close friends, but people did notice here. My housemate asked me if I was alright, she never asks me things. My boss asked me how I was doing, if I was adapting well to the place; we never really work together or talk at all since he's french and I'm mostly with the spanish teachers, so that was odd. The other assistant and the teachers-in-training just kida left me alone, which I appreciated. But despite being homesick, I'm doing okay.
They say it might snow tomorrow, and while I'd love to see it, I would love to see it from my window, close to the heather, wrapped in my duvet and drinking tea, not walking in the cold to go to school. Meh, I just hope I can survive the cold. Most of my students must think I have a very limited vocabulary since I only talk to them in Spanish and when they see me in the halls and ask me how I am, I usually answer "Cold!" I bet they think it's the only word I know, just like they can only answer "Bien!" when I ask them the same question.
I don't feel like going to visit another town this weekend, apart from the cold, I don't get paid til saturday and I should really clean this place. I'm starting to forget what colour the carpet is! But I might change my mind.
To balance this post, here's a list of hings that make me happy right now:
- Skype: paulo coelho is having a contest on twitter, he asked "what is joy" my entry was "right now, the skype incoming call sound" it makes me smile every time.
- cadbury chocolate. I don't think I need to elaborate more.
- Christmassy decorations. (that's sheffield's rail station btw) And anything that has to do with Christmas, I'm just blocking the part where I won't be home and focusing on the decorations, the food and tv shows. I already started putting the christmas playlist on repeat and I should be starting to read Let it Snow (yet again) sometime this weekend.
- Glee and Modern Family. I adore Kurt and don't give a crap if the whole show is about him. Besides, that wedding? ADORABLE. Also I looooove Phil Dunphy** because let's face it, he couldn't get any cuter/funnier.
that's it,
TTFN
Song of the day: In spite of all the danger, cover of the Beatles by the Nowhere boys. I just watched this move and it's SO good. Thomas Sangster, as if I couldn't love you any more, you had to go and learn how to play lefty just so you could be Paul, perfect even if he looks nothing like Paul. And Aaron Johnson, what can I say, you did an awesome job as John and to me, you are will always be (to put it in Georgia's words) a sex god.
Sexy: Aaron Johnson, just look at that. Plus, guy can fuckin' sing. PLUS, he seems to like older gals. Bad side? He's engaged to 43 year old director, sam taylor wood, and they're expecting a baby.
Unsexy: Creepy guy at the bus, like yeah, I can be nice to the neighbors but don't expect me to star/keep a conversation with you for a while. He either lives near or works near my house so I just get off a stop before or after mine whenever I see him on the bus, but that's just cause I don't want him to see where I live. Not because I think he could try anything anyway.
* I'm already working on a love/hate sheffield post, I just need to... finish it.
** Also working on a theory I discussed with my friend F, about how I'm only attracted not only to older AND married men, but to men with children. I'm such a failure sometimes.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Bumped
First of all, I'd like to apologize for the girliness of my last post, I'd like to blame it on the fact that I've been feeling homesick lately and also, I had run out of chocolate. ;)
But leaving that aside, today I'm here to talk to you about something else, if you have read this blog before you must know I'm a fan of Megan McCafferty's Jessica Darling series. Jessica is smart and hilarious and sarcastic and dramatic, and at the same time so relatable. I had had those same fears and insecurities as a teenager, she made me feel like I wasn't alone in this big and scary growing up thing. And then there's the boy. While most girls I knew were swooning over Mr Darcy, Michael Moscovitz, Dexter Jones, or Edward Cullen (ew!), I was busy obsessing over Marcus Flutie. Because lets face it, he's fascinatingly unpredicatable, and probably the only guy with dreadlocks that I'd ever date. (Hah =D )
It's always a bittersweet thing to read the end of a series you love so much, but I'm very happy with how they ended and at the same time, really excited about Megan McCafferty's new novel, Bumped.
The book comes out on April 26th, 2010. I can't hardly wait.
Also, today is awesome because even though 1) it's a Monday, 2) the weather is horrible, 3) I obviously choose the worst days to go to work wearing high heels and my hair down, and 3) I arrived to school late and with a broken umbrella; I have some of the cutest students in the world. They also happen to be hilarious, my face hurts not only from standing out in the cold for so long, but also from smiling so much.
Okay, I'm done.
TTTFN!
Song of the day: We're going retro, My boy lollipop by Millie Small. Because it's cute and because I've had it in my head all day.
You are as sweet as candy
you're my sugar dandy
But leaving that aside, today I'm here to talk to you about something else, if you have read this blog before you must know I'm a fan of Megan McCafferty's Jessica Darling series. Jessica is smart and hilarious and sarcastic and dramatic, and at the same time so relatable. I had had those same fears and insecurities as a teenager, she made me feel like I wasn't alone in this big and scary growing up thing. And then there's the boy. While most girls I knew were swooning over Mr Darcy, Michael Moscovitz, Dexter Jones, or Edward Cullen (ew!), I was busy obsessing over Marcus Flutie. Because lets face it, he's fascinatingly unpredicatable, and probably the only guy with dreadlocks that I'd ever date. (Hah =D )
It's always a bittersweet thing to read the end of a series you love so much, but I'm very happy with how they ended and at the same time, really excited about Megan McCafferty's new novel, Bumped.
“a sharply funny and provocative dystopian novel set in a world where only teens are able to have babies, and are contracted by adults to carry them to term.” --
The book comes out on April 26th, 2010. I can't hardly wait.
Also, today is awesome because even though 1) it's a Monday, 2) the weather is horrible, 3) I obviously choose the worst days to go to work wearing high heels and my hair down, and 3) I arrived to school late and with a broken umbrella; I have some of the cutest students in the world. They also happen to be hilarious, my face hurts not only from standing out in the cold for so long, but also from smiling so much.
Okay, I'm done.
TTTFN!
Song of the day: We're going retro, My boy lollipop by Millie Small. Because it's cute and because I've had it in my head all day.
You are as sweet as candy
you're my sugar dandy
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Crushes.
Being single, has made me get used to having friends trying to set me up on blind dates. (Some of them work, and I've made great friends from that, but most of them are a complete disaster that while I appreciate their ...good thoughts, I just refuse to go anymore) It also makes you get used to having people ask you "What's your type?" And that's such a difficult question...
Taller than me, I'd say, cause I'm shallow like that. Fun, cause I love a guy who can make me laugh. Sarcastic and with a dark sense of humor cause I don't think we'd be able to get along if he wasn't/didn't have one. But most of all, I need him to be smarter than me.
And see, he can be smarter than me in practically ANY way. Maybe he loves math, maybe he has written a novel, maybe he's a musician*, or maybe he speaks another language; it doesn't really matter, I just find guys way more interesting that way. You might think I'm asking for too much, but I don't think so, I still have a little faith in the male gender.
Being in the UK hasn't changed my mind yet, but most of the guys I've met are actually way younger than me, and that's something I would not like to add to that list. Although, I might have to add "Willing to move to America," cause, you know.
My mexican friend here is going to London for the weekend cause it's her birthday, I'm so unorganized that I forgot to buy train tickets and now they cost a lot, so I'm left with no plans for the weekend. We'll see. The only thing that makes me happy is that another friend is coming over next weekend to visit and while that's awesome, it also means I might have to clean my room cause it's a freakin' mess right now.
That's it for today,
Ciao
Sexy: Halloween costumes. One of my kids (16yearold) told me he didn't dress up for Halloween cause he thought he was too old for that, I said "d00d, are you kidding me? I wore a costume." I'm not so into the idea of Halloween itself, free candies are always good, but the dressing up part will always be my favorite.
Unsexy: Two.people.in.a.bathroom. Gross, I don't want to say more.
Song of the day: Say You Don't Want It by One Night Only, don't let the fact that Emma Watson is in the video (and supposedly banging the singer) get to you, it's become one of my favorite new videos just because of the fact that it's in the style of the lady and the tramp. Plus the singer's accent is lovely :)
*Speaking of that, HERE. You're welcome.
Taller than me, I'd say, cause I'm shallow like that. Fun, cause I love a guy who can make me laugh. Sarcastic and with a dark sense of humor cause I don't think we'd be able to get along if he wasn't/didn't have one. But most of all, I need him to be smarter than me.
"See, my idea of cute comes with an IQ requirement. It's geeky cute."
And see, he can be smarter than me in practically ANY way. Maybe he loves math, maybe he has written a novel, maybe he's a musician*, or maybe he speaks another language; it doesn't really matter, I just find guys way more interesting that way. You might think I'm asking for too much, but I don't think so, I still have a little faith in the male gender.
Being in the UK hasn't changed my mind yet, but most of the guys I've met are actually way younger than me, and that's something I would not like to add to that list. Although, I might have to add "Willing to move to America," cause, you know.
My mexican friend here is going to London for the weekend cause it's her birthday, I'm so unorganized that I forgot to buy train tickets and now they cost a lot, so I'm left with no plans for the weekend. We'll see. The only thing that makes me happy is that another friend is coming over next weekend to visit and while that's awesome, it also means I might have to clean my room cause it's a freakin' mess right now.
That's it for today,
Ciao
Sexy: Halloween costumes. One of my kids (16yearold) told me he didn't dress up for Halloween cause he thought he was too old for that, I said "d00d, are you kidding me? I wore a costume." I'm not so into the idea of Halloween itself, free candies are always good, but the dressing up part will always be my favorite.
Unsexy: Two.people.in.a.bathroom. Gross, I don't want to say more.
Song of the day: Say You Don't Want It by One Night Only, don't let the fact that Emma Watson is in the video (and supposedly banging the singer) get to you, it's become one of my favorite new videos just because of the fact that it's in the style of the lady and the tramp. Plus the singer's accent is lovely :)
*Speaking of that, HERE. You're welcome.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
October 23rd
October 23rd, 11:31p.m.
Woohoo, half term!
The last assistant wasn't lying when she told me that British people love their school breaks. It's only been 3 weeks since I started working and I already have a break.
Seeing as my monetary situation hasn't changed, I couldn't go out on holidays, two other assistants that I know are on their way to Edinburgh right now, others are going to France, or planning to go to London. While I did do good on saving my money, I did not save enough like to go out on a trip. Hopefully, my check will be here soon and I might be able to do something fun next weekend. Next weekend is Halloween! I did forget my costume back at home, but I don't think I'd have used it anyway seeing how cold it is here, and I don't think I'll be buying one here either so it seems like no costume this year.
I did get to go to Manchester this weekend tho. We had a spanish assistants meeting/session with the other assistants from around this region. My mentor teacher recommended me not to go, I was surprised and I asked him why, if he thought they weren't that good and he said that the information they will give me would be the same I had already got before and while I was here, that my travel expenses would be paid by me and last but not least that it was on my day off and he thought it was awful that I had to spend it on this kind of thing. I decided to go anyway, based on the fact that some of the mexican assistants that I met in Mexico city were going and well, on the fact that I had never seen Manchester at all.
I have a friend who lived in Manchester for a while and another friend who went to uni there, so naturally I was a bit excited to meet the city and walk through the streets they once walked, but I must say I was a bit disappointed. The city is beautiful, don't get me wrong, but it made me appreciate more the 'little' city I'm calling home right now.
First, the meeting/seminar-thingy, we lost the train, had to get a later one. Once we got to Piccadilly station we didn't know where to go, found other assistants and realized it was Manchester uni, took a free city bus that only took us around the city center and never saw the uni, eventually we figured out we had to go back to the station and just walk 5 min from there. lol The meeting itself was, as my mentor said, pointless. All they did was telling us this is us and this is what we do and we can provide you with resources to use during your classes but oh, yeah, they're in Manchester AND London, which is no use if the teachers I'm working with only tell me what I'm doing either just before class or a day or two before.
What got me a little off was that they told us 'oh, did you know you can use videos/songs/puzzles/games during your classes' I was like, 'no, reaaaally?!' that might have helped guys who this is their first teaching experience but honestly I have planned 5-hours lessons all from scratch, and I didn't even study to be a teacher. Even if they hadn't given a single lesson in their lives, these assistants HAVE taken lessons to learn a second language, they KNOW the type of activities you do in order to practice languages.
On a happier note, we found some mexicans! Haha, it was funny because there were around 10 of us and we inmediately got together, I remembered most of their faces from the mexico city seminar but I had only really met a couple of them. We bonded over the fact that here coke doesn't taste like coke because we don't use the same kind of sugar to make it, 'spicy' food doesn't taste hot at all to us, and even if it does, it's missing a bit of flavour, how expensive public transportation is and how bad the weather is. Hopefully, I might see them more.
After the meeting we decided to get something to eat but only ended up walking around the shops and taking pictures.
-'What's this bulding you're taking pictures of?', said someone.
-'I don't know, but it's Manchester!', replied another.
All in all it was fun, two other mexican assistants and our adopted colombian friend and I had to leave the party to go find our hostal. Now, seeing as I don't have internet, it was A's responsability to find and book our room, most of the places near the center were taken, so she booked something a bit further away. We went around the city center twice on those free buses, we couldn't find Victoria's train station and every person we asked for information was not helpful at all. We got lost and missed our train, one police officer at the station did help us but said the next train wouldn't be there until 10:40pm and it was only 6 and we were already tired, hungry and wet.
So we decided for the bus, but the bus driver, who wasn't nice to us at all, said it was almost five pounds for the ride, again we changed our minds and went to take a taxi. The first one we stopped wouldn't tell us more or less how much it would be to take us to the hostal unless we got on the car. Being from where we are we told him goodbye, and tried to stop another one, this one did say how much and it took us around 25min to get there.
When we first saw the hostal it didn't look like one at all, it was a pub! We almost got back to the street, tired and feeling cheated on when this friendly guy came outside to ask us if we had a reservation, when we said we did, he told us the rooms were upstairs but ours wasn't ready because his girlfriend, who is pregnant, wasn't there at the time to clean it but that he could offer us a very nice room in his other hostal, just down the road. He seemed nice so we followed him, he took us through the back road and for a bit we were scared it was a set up and he was gonna try to murder us all, but he did take us to a very very nice room with 3 beds, full bathroom with a bathtub, big shared kitchen and living room, the only bad thing is that we were on top of another pub and they had loud music, but seeing as it was good music, I didn't mind at all.
We followed Will, that's the nice guy we met, back to the original hostal and he took good care of us, sent the cook to take the order for our dinner, came around every once in a while to ask us how everything was going. Will also seemed interested to know where we were from and he said it was bullshit how the bus driver and the other people wouldn't give us directions and everything. He explained that most people around the city center aren't even from Manchester, that most of them are there because they moved there to study or work and that people from Manchester are really nice, we had to believe him. He even said that he would give us a ride (for 10 punds) back to the city center next morning, that all we had to do was call him and tell him we were ready.
He was also really proud of his pub, he even showed us this back garden that they use 'when the weather is good', he said. They even have a playground for the kids, the garden has a lovely view to the river and then we understood why he was so proud. He sent us back with bowls and more bread and more milk and he even sent us a heather when he saw we were freezing while we walked outside. We couldn't have found a better place to stay, really.
The next morning, this morning for me, we got up, had breakfast and got a ride back to the city center. We talked to Will about the place, how he lived in Italy for a lot of years, how he was going to the sauna to relax a little bit after dropping us off, and about how beautiful yet dangerous Mexico is. When he helped us get our bags out of the trunk he even gave as a present to one of the other assistants a bottle of a 'locally' made beer. I thought it was hilarious, the kind of thing you would expect from a pub owner, to have a bottle of beer just laying around in his car trunk.
We went around the city center, sightseeing and stuff, being tourists and taking pictures. We went to Manchester's chinatown and ate chinese food which wasn't that bad at all. Two of the girls went off to Edinburgh (insert sad face) and the other went off to France to visit her boyfriend, I came back to Sheffield exhausted but happy. I'm planning on going to church tomorrow and do my laundry. I hope hope hope our modem AND my paycheck will arrive on Monday, so I can finally use the internet and buy more food and so I can (at last!) stop worrying so much about both of them.
I'm not sure what I'm doing next week, probably sleep, plan some activities for the kids, catch up on my tv shows and more sleep but who knows, I might change my mind once we get there.
TTFN
Sexy: Half break. What can I say, not only British people love their vacations, I love them as well. Also, these crepes my French housemate gave me, SO good. I might not like her that much for certain things that I won't say here, but she's redeeming herself with these kicking-ass crepes.
Unsexy: The number of gay guys we found in Manchester. Will told us there were so many of them there, that 90% of guys with facial hair were gay and he was 'guessing' who was gay and who wasn't while we were riding in his car. Don't get me wrong, I love the gays, they're lovely and lively and make everything more fun, but what's a single, straight girl to do in England when most of the guys we find prefer to bat for the other team?
Song of the day: Everlasting Love by Jamie Cullum.
Woohoo, half term!
The last assistant wasn't lying when she told me that British people love their school breaks. It's only been 3 weeks since I started working and I already have a break.
Seeing as my monetary situation hasn't changed, I couldn't go out on holidays, two other assistants that I know are on their way to Edinburgh right now, others are going to France, or planning to go to London. While I did do good on saving my money, I did not save enough like to go out on a trip. Hopefully, my check will be here soon and I might be able to do something fun next weekend. Next weekend is Halloween! I did forget my costume back at home, but I don't think I'd have used it anyway seeing how cold it is here, and I don't think I'll be buying one here either so it seems like no costume this year.
I did get to go to Manchester this weekend tho. We had a spanish assistants meeting/session with the other assistants from around this region. My mentor teacher recommended me not to go, I was surprised and I asked him why, if he thought they weren't that good and he said that the information they will give me would be the same I had already got before and while I was here, that my travel expenses would be paid by me and last but not least that it was on my day off and he thought it was awful that I had to spend it on this kind of thing. I decided to go anyway, based on the fact that some of the mexican assistants that I met in Mexico city were going and well, on the fact that I had never seen Manchester at all.
I have a friend who lived in Manchester for a while and another friend who went to uni there, so naturally I was a bit excited to meet the city and walk through the streets they once walked, but I must say I was a bit disappointed. The city is beautiful, don't get me wrong, but it made me appreciate more the 'little' city I'm calling home right now.
First, the meeting/seminar-thingy, we lost the train, had to get a later one. Once we got to Piccadilly station we didn't know where to go, found other assistants and realized it was Manchester uni, took a free city bus that only took us around the city center and never saw the uni, eventually we figured out we had to go back to the station and just walk 5 min from there. lol The meeting itself was, as my mentor said, pointless. All they did was telling us this is us and this is what we do and we can provide you with resources to use during your classes but oh, yeah, they're in Manchester AND London, which is no use if the teachers I'm working with only tell me what I'm doing either just before class or a day or two before.
What got me a little off was that they told us 'oh, did you know you can use videos/songs/puzzles/games during your classes' I was like, 'no, reaaaally?!' that might have helped guys who this is their first teaching experience but honestly I have planned 5-hours lessons all from scratch, and I didn't even study to be a teacher. Even if they hadn't given a single lesson in their lives, these assistants HAVE taken lessons to learn a second language, they KNOW the type of activities you do in order to practice languages.
On a happier note, we found some mexicans! Haha, it was funny because there were around 10 of us and we inmediately got together, I remembered most of their faces from the mexico city seminar but I had only really met a couple of them. We bonded over the fact that here coke doesn't taste like coke because we don't use the same kind of sugar to make it, 'spicy' food doesn't taste hot at all to us, and even if it does, it's missing a bit of flavour, how expensive public transportation is and how bad the weather is. Hopefully, I might see them more.
After the meeting we decided to get something to eat but only ended up walking around the shops and taking pictures.
-'What's this bulding you're taking pictures of?', said someone.
-'I don't know, but it's Manchester!', replied another.
All in all it was fun, two other mexican assistants and our adopted colombian friend and I had to leave the party to go find our hostal. Now, seeing as I don't have internet, it was A's responsability to find and book our room, most of the places near the center were taken, so she booked something a bit further away. We went around the city center twice on those free buses, we couldn't find Victoria's train station and every person we asked for information was not helpful at all. We got lost and missed our train, one police officer at the station did help us but said the next train wouldn't be there until 10:40pm and it was only 6 and we were already tired, hungry and wet.
So we decided for the bus, but the bus driver, who wasn't nice to us at all, said it was almost five pounds for the ride, again we changed our minds and went to take a taxi. The first one we stopped wouldn't tell us more or less how much it would be to take us to the hostal unless we got on the car. Being from where we are we told him goodbye, and tried to stop another one, this one did say how much and it took us around 25min to get there.
When we first saw the hostal it didn't look like one at all, it was a pub! We almost got back to the street, tired and feeling cheated on when this friendly guy came outside to ask us if we had a reservation, when we said we did, he told us the rooms were upstairs but ours wasn't ready because his girlfriend, who is pregnant, wasn't there at the time to clean it but that he could offer us a very nice room in his other hostal, just down the road. He seemed nice so we followed him, he took us through the back road and for a bit we were scared it was a set up and he was gonna try to murder us all, but he did take us to a very very nice room with 3 beds, full bathroom with a bathtub, big shared kitchen and living room, the only bad thing is that we were on top of another pub and they had loud music, but seeing as it was good music, I didn't mind at all.
We followed Will, that's the nice guy we met, back to the original hostal and he took good care of us, sent the cook to take the order for our dinner, came around every once in a while to ask us how everything was going. Will also seemed interested to know where we were from and he said it was bullshit how the bus driver and the other people wouldn't give us directions and everything. He explained that most people around the city center aren't even from Manchester, that most of them are there because they moved there to study or work and that people from Manchester are really nice, we had to believe him. He even said that he would give us a ride (for 10 punds) back to the city center next morning, that all we had to do was call him and tell him we were ready.
He was also really proud of his pub, he even showed us this back garden that they use 'when the weather is good', he said. They even have a playground for the kids, the garden has a lovely view to the river and then we understood why he was so proud. He sent us back with bowls and more bread and more milk and he even sent us a heather when he saw we were freezing while we walked outside. We couldn't have found a better place to stay, really.
The next morning, this morning for me, we got up, had breakfast and got a ride back to the city center. We talked to Will about the place, how he lived in Italy for a lot of years, how he was going to the sauna to relax a little bit after dropping us off, and about how beautiful yet dangerous Mexico is. When he helped us get our bags out of the trunk he even gave as a present to one of the other assistants a bottle of a 'locally' made beer. I thought it was hilarious, the kind of thing you would expect from a pub owner, to have a bottle of beer just laying around in his car trunk.
We went around the city center, sightseeing and stuff, being tourists and taking pictures. We went to Manchester's chinatown and ate chinese food which wasn't that bad at all. Two of the girls went off to Edinburgh (insert sad face) and the other went off to France to visit her boyfriend, I came back to Sheffield exhausted but happy. I'm planning on going to church tomorrow and do my laundry. I hope hope hope our modem AND my paycheck will arrive on Monday, so I can finally use the internet and buy more food and so I can (at last!) stop worrying so much about both of them.
I'm not sure what I'm doing next week, probably sleep, plan some activities for the kids, catch up on my tv shows and more sleep but who knows, I might change my mind once we get there.
TTFN
Sexy: Half break. What can I say, not only British people love their vacations, I love them as well. Also, these crepes my French housemate gave me, SO good. I might not like her that much for certain things that I won't say here, but she's redeeming herself with these kicking-ass crepes.
Unsexy: The number of gay guys we found in Manchester. Will told us there were so many of them there, that 90% of guys with facial hair were gay and he was 'guessing' who was gay and who wasn't while we were riding in his car. Don't get me wrong, I love the gays, they're lovely and lively and make everything more fun, but what's a single, straight girl to do in England when most of the guys we find prefer to bat for the other team?
Song of the day: Everlasting Love by Jamie Cullum.
October 16th, 9pm.
October 16th, 9pm.
People keep asking me if I'm homesick already, and I feel bad telling them I'm not yet. While I do miss and adore my family, and almost got teary eyed the other day when I saw a couple of pictures of my dad, I don't feel like I need to go back just yet. It might sound silly but I miss my dog the most, but see while she's crazy and can't stay still for 5 min, she's the perfect company for me, one person told me before I got her that you never feel alone when you have a Chihuahua dog and Chikis has proven that right for me, she always seemed eager to see me or to play but when I said goodbye to her she didnt even care, she might have been angry at me for leaving her or she probably didn't understand anyway. It pains me so to be so far away from her.
I moved into my own place a week ago, and it still doesn't feel like a week, it might take some time for me to get used to the house and everything. The first night I felt nervous because I was on my own, this time if I heard any noises I could not blame the teacher I was living with (she's pregnant and sometimes has trouble sleeping or has to go to the bathroom a lot XD) but it was okay.
A couple of days later one of my housemates moved in and yesterday the other one did as well. I think they're nice, we still need to figure out things like bills & the internet and TV license but we might do alright.
Last weekend I went to Leeds with another mexican assistant, I know it's bad I'm hanging out with spanish speaking people but we couldn't help but bond, she is older and has this adventurous side that I really like, especially since I'm totally not so she's pushing me to go to places and see things which I think is all around good but bad for my pockets.
Anyway, there isn't much to do in Leeds, we took a sightseeing tour on a double decker bus, and we went to the armour museum, when I told this to people at my school, they thought it wasn't very entertaining, but I assured them that the museum alone was worth the trip for me, we don't have those kind of things back at home so seeing something so different and full of history gets my attention.
The week was uneventful, I have 12 hours of classes from Monday to Thursday, if I get some time with the younger kids I only help them with the questions for their exams, mostly about their pronuntiation but I only see them from 5 to 10 min, if they're getting new information in class I don't see them at all. I have more time with the older ones but the ones from Y13 are excellent! I feel like I can't teach them anything new but I tried some games and showed them some pictures from my city so it's been alright so far.
Oh and there's something odd in the schools here, I have to fill a form and all my data has to be checked in order for me to be alone in a classroom with them, so the French assistant and I have been sharing the MFL office this two weeks and it's a little uncomfortable, while we're fine and won't mind that much, the students get distracted and sometimes respond to me in French and talk to her in Spanish so it gets a little confusing but I think it's a little funny.
The French assistant is lovely, this is her second year as an assistant so she has taught me quite a lot about the program and buses and even came with me to help me with my bank account, she showed me around the city center when I first arrived and I had lunch with her and her boyfriend in a well-known pub.
Yesterday I had the day off and did nothing but sleep and read all day, and today I went with my friend to have fish & chips (finally!) but they weren't THAT good, and we went to Sheffield Uni, I LOVED that place, it just looks so beautiful I could not help but wish that it was my university as well, they were giving this salsa lessons and as the other assistant knows how to dance very well, she joined the group, they asked me to dance as well, seeing as I'm latina they probably thought I could, but I politely declined since I have two left feet and have never been that into salsa anyway. But it was fun seeing British and Indian and even Asian people dance such a 'passionate' dance.
There are so many things I want to see and do while I'm here, but alas, I have the time but not the money yet, my friend desperatly wants to go to Edimburgh, and while I would adore going I don't think I have the time and I'm not sure when my first check will arrive, so I'll just list all we want to do
1) Go to Edimburgh and see the castles. While the perfect time would be the week after this one, I don't think I could make it with the money, there is a tour offered for November at the sheffield uni's student union but we aren't sure if we could go not being students and all, besides November might be quite cold to go further north anyway.
2) the chatsworth house, while my main reason to go is still Pride and Prejudice* I want to take my time to see it. Again the student union does a tour but around Christmas (december 12th to be exact) but again we must ask if we can join.
3) the theatre - there are a couple of christmas plays (the stick man and the 12 days of christmas)playing in november in the sheffield theatres, we might go to that if it isn't too expensive, The beauty and the beast is playing in November as well, which might be nice to see. But the best would be The Rocky Horror Picture show sing-a-long on october 31st!!! I have always always wanted to go to one and this one is playing on halloween so it'd be the perfect thing to do, but alas, is on october and we don't get paid til the first week of november, so that's still in doubt unless I'm super extra careful with money and save every single penny from now until then.
4) London, the first weekend of november is my friend's bday and her own present was a ticket to London, while I'm dying to go, I still don't know for sure until I get paid, and it would be just for the weekend while I'd love to go during the holidays so I could stay longer than that. Who knows...
Everything's still in doubt and depending on how much I save/how fast my check is delivered and put into my account. I haven't even recieved my debit card yet, SIGH.
I'll try to update as much as I can, but I keep forgetting things and don't have internet yet so I don't know how often I'll write or when I'll put this up.
So, until then,
ttfn.
Sexy: Sheffield University campus during the fall. Honestly, I wanted to marry the place when I first saw it.
Unsexy: How the day can be so nice here and then suddenly it rains even just a little bit, you get wet and terribly cold. Not nice when I just sent my only useful coat to the dry cleaners. Meh.
Song of the day: Some Sheffield pride this time, Def Leppard, Photograph.
*Speaking of Pride and Prejudice, I bought and have just read the book again, I could not help it, it was impossible for me to be so close to Derbyshire and not reading Austen again. Besides the only two books (oh, the pain) that I brought with me are Looking for Alaska, because it was a huge inspiration for me, it pushed me to come on this trip, but I don't read it as often because it always makes me cry. And Let it Snow because I ALWAYS always read it around Christmas time, but I don't want to start it yet, it already is too cold for me here, so it feels christmassy but then I don't want to have nothing to read then. So yeah, I'm still as in love of Mr Darcy as I ever was, I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon. lol
People keep asking me if I'm homesick already, and I feel bad telling them I'm not yet. While I do miss and adore my family, and almost got teary eyed the other day when I saw a couple of pictures of my dad, I don't feel like I need to go back just yet. It might sound silly but I miss my dog the most, but see while she's crazy and can't stay still for 5 min, she's the perfect company for me, one person told me before I got her that you never feel alone when you have a Chihuahua dog and Chikis has proven that right for me, she always seemed eager to see me or to play but when I said goodbye to her she didnt even care, she might have been angry at me for leaving her or she probably didn't understand anyway. It pains me so to be so far away from her.
I moved into my own place a week ago, and it still doesn't feel like a week, it might take some time for me to get used to the house and everything. The first night I felt nervous because I was on my own, this time if I heard any noises I could not blame the teacher I was living with (she's pregnant and sometimes has trouble sleeping or has to go to the bathroom a lot XD) but it was okay.
A couple of days later one of my housemates moved in and yesterday the other one did as well. I think they're nice, we still need to figure out things like bills & the internet and TV license but we might do alright.
Last weekend I went to Leeds with another mexican assistant, I know it's bad I'm hanging out with spanish speaking people but we couldn't help but bond, she is older and has this adventurous side that I really like, especially since I'm totally not so she's pushing me to go to places and see things which I think is all around good but bad for my pockets.
Anyway, there isn't much to do in Leeds, we took a sightseeing tour on a double decker bus, and we went to the armour museum, when I told this to people at my school, they thought it wasn't very entertaining, but I assured them that the museum alone was worth the trip for me, we don't have those kind of things back at home so seeing something so different and full of history gets my attention.
The week was uneventful, I have 12 hours of classes from Monday to Thursday, if I get some time with the younger kids I only help them with the questions for their exams, mostly about their pronuntiation but I only see them from 5 to 10 min, if they're getting new information in class I don't see them at all. I have more time with the older ones but the ones from Y13 are excellent! I feel like I can't teach them anything new but I tried some games and showed them some pictures from my city so it's been alright so far.
Oh and there's something odd in the schools here, I have to fill a form and all my data has to be checked in order for me to be alone in a classroom with them, so the French assistant and I have been sharing the MFL office this two weeks and it's a little uncomfortable, while we're fine and won't mind that much, the students get distracted and sometimes respond to me in French and talk to her in Spanish so it gets a little confusing but I think it's a little funny.
The French assistant is lovely, this is her second year as an assistant so she has taught me quite a lot about the program and buses and even came with me to help me with my bank account, she showed me around the city center when I first arrived and I had lunch with her and her boyfriend in a well-known pub.
Yesterday I had the day off and did nothing but sleep and read all day, and today I went with my friend to have fish & chips (finally!) but they weren't THAT good, and we went to Sheffield Uni, I LOVED that place, it just looks so beautiful I could not help but wish that it was my university as well, they were giving this salsa lessons and as the other assistant knows how to dance very well, she joined the group, they asked me to dance as well, seeing as I'm latina they probably thought I could, but I politely declined since I have two left feet and have never been that into salsa anyway. But it was fun seeing British and Indian and even Asian people dance such a 'passionate' dance.
There are so many things I want to see and do while I'm here, but alas, I have the time but not the money yet, my friend desperatly wants to go to Edimburgh, and while I would adore going I don't think I have the time and I'm not sure when my first check will arrive, so I'll just list all we want to do
1) Go to Edimburgh and see the castles. While the perfect time would be the week after this one, I don't think I could make it with the money, there is a tour offered for November at the sheffield uni's student union but we aren't sure if we could go not being students and all, besides November might be quite cold to go further north anyway.
2) the chatsworth house, while my main reason to go is still Pride and Prejudice* I want to take my time to see it. Again the student union does a tour but around Christmas (december 12th to be exact) but again we must ask if we can join.
3) the theatre - there are a couple of christmas plays (the stick man and the 12 days of christmas)playing in november in the sheffield theatres, we might go to that if it isn't too expensive, The beauty and the beast is playing in November as well, which might be nice to see. But the best would be The Rocky Horror Picture show sing-a-long on october 31st!!! I have always always wanted to go to one and this one is playing on halloween so it'd be the perfect thing to do, but alas, is on october and we don't get paid til the first week of november, so that's still in doubt unless I'm super extra careful with money and save every single penny from now until then.
4) London, the first weekend of november is my friend's bday and her own present was a ticket to London, while I'm dying to go, I still don't know for sure until I get paid, and it would be just for the weekend while I'd love to go during the holidays so I could stay longer than that. Who knows...
Everything's still in doubt and depending on how much I save/how fast my check is delivered and put into my account. I haven't even recieved my debit card yet, SIGH.
I'll try to update as much as I can, but I keep forgetting things and don't have internet yet so I don't know how often I'll write or when I'll put this up.
So, until then,
ttfn.
Sexy: Sheffield University campus during the fall. Honestly, I wanted to marry the place when I first saw it.
Unsexy: How the day can be so nice here and then suddenly it rains even just a little bit, you get wet and terribly cold. Not nice when I just sent my only useful coat to the dry cleaners. Meh.
Song of the day: Some Sheffield pride this time, Def Leppard, Photograph.
*Speaking of Pride and Prejudice, I bought and have just read the book again, I could not help it, it was impossible for me to be so close to Derbyshire and not reading Austen again. Besides the only two books (oh, the pain) that I brought with me are Looking for Alaska, because it was a huge inspiration for me, it pushed me to come on this trip, but I don't read it as often because it always makes me cry. And Let it Snow because I ALWAYS always read it around Christmas time, but I don't want to start it yet, it already is too cold for me here, so it feels christmassy but then I don't want to have nothing to read then. So yeah, I'm still as in love of Mr Darcy as I ever was, I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon. lol
Thursday, October 7, 2010
first impressions
I found a place to live! The locaton is okay, the kitchen is good, my room is lovely, the bathroom is mehh... I still find the idea of sharing a bathroom disgusting but it's not like if I can pay to have my own HOUSE. I move in this weekend, after I buy food and beddings and sheets and stuff. Sigh.
I already had classes with some of the kids here, some of them are lovely but I already don't know what else to talk about with them. And then there are others who just started learning Spanish and they get really nervous with me so I can't actually get a whole sentence out of them, just pieces of sentences, sometimes even words. gaahh... today was really a reminder that I'm not here just to visit, this isn't a holiday, I'm here to work and I want to do my best, so I'll probably have to work harder.
I've been keeping in contact with one of my best friends through emails, she doesn't get to log in that often and even if she did, our schedules are so different that with our luck we would probably never "meet" each other anyway. So I have been writing and telling her everything that has been happening to me, she said my adventures remind her of a british novel, bless her heart, I wish. It's been SO nice to have someone who I know will understand what I'm going through, and who has the patience to read everything I say and answer back as soon as she can, I keep joking and telling her I won't have anything new to say once I'm back, but that's alright cause neither will she anyway.
TTFN
Sexy: British accents. Just sayin'
Unsexy: Colds. I can just FEEL one coming, and I still haven't gone to register with the GP :(
Song of the day: Imagine by John Lennon. I grew up listening to this, it never gets old.
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one..
I already had classes with some of the kids here, some of them are lovely but I already don't know what else to talk about with them. And then there are others who just started learning Spanish and they get really nervous with me so I can't actually get a whole sentence out of them, just pieces of sentences, sometimes even words. gaahh... today was really a reminder that I'm not here just to visit, this isn't a holiday, I'm here to work and I want to do my best, so I'll probably have to work harder.
I've been keeping in contact with one of my best friends through emails, she doesn't get to log in that often and even if she did, our schedules are so different that with our luck we would probably never "meet" each other anyway. So I have been writing and telling her everything that has been happening to me, she said my adventures remind her of a british novel, bless her heart, I wish. It's been SO nice to have someone who I know will understand what I'm going through, and who has the patience to read everything I say and answer back as soon as she can, I keep joking and telling her I won't have anything new to say once I'm back, but that's alright cause neither will she anyway.
TTFN
Sexy: British accents. Just sayin'
Unsexy: Colds. I can just FEEL one coming, and I still haven't gone to register with the GP :(
Song of the day: Imagine by John Lennon. I grew up listening to this, it never gets old.
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one..
Sunday, October 3, 2010
new times
I have officialy been in the UK for almost a week now and I still can't explain how I feel. Nature is absolutely beautiful and the houses and everything is lovely. The family I've been staying with for this short time has been nothing but nicer to me, but I can't wait to move out of here and find my own place.
The first things I bought while being here were a pair of small boots, an umbrella and a hair dryer. I wanted to get a straightener too but I'm trying to save money while being here.
I've already went to the school and met some of the students, but I really don't start working until next week. We had a meeting with the other assistants and it went by okay, we went to get a pint of beer afterwards and some of the girls are lovely, I even met a mexican assistant who also went to the seminar with me! We didn't talk to each other then because we were in different teams but I defnitely remembered her from back then. Everybody seemed so lovely and I hope I get to hang out with them more.
I'm now able to go to the City Center (on foot) and go to the shops and the big ferris wheel, just the main road, mind you, I don't think I could go around all the center. I'm excited and nervous and overall worried, I thought the feeling would go away once I got here but it seems to never leave me.
I miss my family, I miss my dog and I miss the mexican food already. I cried the first couple of days, I got all emotional just by writing an email to my dad, I freaked out the day before yesterday because I couldn't find my passport (which was in my bag all the time I kept searching) but all in all I think I'm alright. I get too happy when I get emails and wall messages from people back home, so if you can, send me as many as you want, I'd love to read them and I'll try to reply back as soon as I can.
One last thing that has kept me going is thinking that maybe by the next holidays I'll be visiting this:
If you know where that is, but most importantly, if you know from what movie that is, I probably love you already. :)
I'd love to go, even if I can't pay to go inside, visiting the gardens would be more than enough for me.
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” ---
damn, I wish I had brought that book with me, I guess watching the movie will have to do.
Cheers!
Sexy: Mr. Darcy. I adored Mr Bingley in the movie adaptation, simply because he was precious and lovely and perfect, but in the books, Mr Darcy has my heart.
Unsexy: Not having an umbrella while it's raining so hard that you can't even have your eyes open anymore. I seriously don't recommend it.
Song of the day: To go with the weather, Blue Skies by Landon Pigg. Such a lovely song, Pigg really gets me sometimes.
look at the blue skies gone gray
another breath without the girl I like
another disappointing day
ps. I posted the wrong piece in the last entry, too many embarrasing mistakes, the one I sent is up now.
The first things I bought while being here were a pair of small boots, an umbrella and a hair dryer. I wanted to get a straightener too but I'm trying to save money while being here.
I've already went to the school and met some of the students, but I really don't start working until next week. We had a meeting with the other assistants and it went by okay, we went to get a pint of beer afterwards and some of the girls are lovely, I even met a mexican assistant who also went to the seminar with me! We didn't talk to each other then because we were in different teams but I defnitely remembered her from back then. Everybody seemed so lovely and I hope I get to hang out with them more.
I'm now able to go to the City Center (on foot) and go to the shops and the big ferris wheel, just the main road, mind you, I don't think I could go around all the center. I'm excited and nervous and overall worried, I thought the feeling would go away once I got here but it seems to never leave me.
I miss my family, I miss my dog and I miss the mexican food already. I cried the first couple of days, I got all emotional just by writing an email to my dad, I freaked out the day before yesterday because I couldn't find my passport (which was in my bag all the time I kept searching) but all in all I think I'm alright. I get too happy when I get emails and wall messages from people back home, so if you can, send me as many as you want, I'd love to read them and I'll try to reply back as soon as I can.
One last thing that has kept me going is thinking that maybe by the next holidays I'll be visiting this:
If you know where that is, but most importantly, if you know from what movie that is, I probably love you already. :)
I'd love to go, even if I can't pay to go inside, visiting the gardens would be more than enough for me.
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” ---
damn, I wish I had brought that book with me, I guess watching the movie will have to do.
Cheers!
Sexy: Mr. Darcy. I adored Mr Bingley in the movie adaptation, simply because he was precious and lovely and perfect, but in the books, Mr Darcy has my heart.
Unsexy: Not having an umbrella while it's raining so hard that you can't even have your eyes open anymore. I seriously don't recommend it.
Song of the day: To go with the weather, Blue Skies by Landon Pigg. Such a lovely song, Pigg really gets me sometimes.
look at the blue skies gone gray
another breath without the girl I like
another disappointing day
ps. I posted the wrong piece in the last entry, too many embarrasing mistakes, the one I sent is up now.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
good-bye
I don't think I've realized yet that I'm leaving, or maybe I'm still half-asleep.
Here's one of the things I wrote for the program, for a while I thought it was one of the best things I had ever written, now I just don't know anymore:
EDIT because I posted the wrong draft.
TTFN
Here's one of the things I wrote for the program, for a while I thought it was one of the best things I had ever written, now I just don't know anymore:
EDIT because I posted the wrong draft.
Why I want to be a Foreign Language Assistant
By Paola Malagon
I was never the most popular girl, I always had a small group of friends, I’ve never been good at sports, but God, I loved school. I loved the experience, and the safe feeling I got whenever I walked through the gates, ran to my classroom and hid comfortably behind my desk. Naturally, I was very shy. Speaking in front of a whole class terrified me and I avoided those experiences whenever I had the chance. This is why it’s so strange that I ended up as a teacher. I want to be a Foreign Language Assistant for many reasons, but the three most important ones are my students, my firm belief that it would help me promote the Spanish language and culture, and I because I go to seek a Great Perhaps.
To be completely honest, I first took this job because I needed the money and because it was a perfect way to practice English every day. But, I fell in love with it. I fell for the little kids who come up to you and hug you in the middle of the hallway. I fell for the class clown who just wants a little bit of your attention. I fell for the student who despite all the work and family issues still makes it on time for class. I fell for the student who stays after class to help you carry the material back to the teacher's room, and I fell for the look on their faces when they learn something new and their whole face just lights up. I want to be a FLA because I know that after this I could be a better teacher for each and every one of them.
Until a point in my life, I was a bit of a Benedict Arnold. I loved the English language and I was very interested in the American and British culture. It was one of the reasons why I did a major in translation. But, while I was in the University I took comparative grammar and I discovered how wonderful my first language is.
The sounds, the rolling of the r’s, the conjugation of the verbs, whether to use a masculine or feminine article and all of the different characteristics that make it rich, diverse and fascinating. If I could show at least one student whose first language isn’t Spanish what I can see in my own language I’d be a very happy teacher. As a translator I can be the bridge that connects two different cultures; but as I teacher I’m actually helping students to cross it.
Speaking a second language can open all types of opportunities and with Spanish being spoken as an official language in four continents, the ability to speak it would give the students an advantage in the international job market. Not to mention that tasting, hearing and learning about different cultures gives students an idea of a world possibly beyond what they already know.
Going to live in a different country alone, losing yourself in its language and culture, accepting different opinions and values along with being away from your family and friends -- personally, I think it’d be scary. But at the same time, I think it would be an amazing character-building experience. I suppose it would be an adventure, a challenge. And I’m up for it.
John Green once wrote, “I go to seek a Great Perhaps.” Apparently, they were François Rabelais’ last words. This is why I’m going, so I don’t have to wait until I’m about to die to start seeking a Great Perhaps, I'm ready for that adventure to start now.
TTFN
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
1 month.
We're in the final steps now. One month.
I keep repeating it to myself and feel nothing but wanting to throw up. I have so much anxiety built inside that I fear I might have to hit the next person who asks me "So, when are you leaving?" I think you can guess I have nothing figured out yet. I sent the check back to Mexico and hopefully they will be putting the money in my account very very soon. I need so much more money than that, the more I look at it, the more I seem to need, the more I seem to need, the more I spend here at home. SIGH.
I haven't found a house yet, that's what worries me the most, I did find a very lovely and affordable room the other day, by the next day it was gone. I keep browsing through the different sites trying to find something nice and cheap but mostly near the school. The only place I have found within walking distance it's this house shared by an old guy who I just don't seem so comfortable with. Also, I realized can't for serious have a house until I'm there, I'd have to check out the place before signing a contract. This are the criteria I have so far:
- Cheap. (and by cheap I don't mean 100 pounds cause I know it will suck, I'm okay with it being around, or less, preferably less, than 350)
- Location, location, location. Close to either the city center OR the school. If I live near the city center I can walk to mostly EVERYWHERE, I did find one place right across the Sheffield church, and get this, it's St. Peter and St. Paul's church. I was BORN on St. Peter and St. Paul's day! It's the reason why my mother named me Paola, it must be a sign, right? Right? But I'm not really looking forward to an hour or MORE commuting, so...
If I live close to the school that means waking up later, WALKING to work and not spending on buses, BUT then if I wanted to go out to the pubs, or simply go shopping I'd have to take the bus downtown and come home early cause it's farther away.
- It must include ALL bills. I don't really want to deal with how much we need to pay for the water, I'd just rather pay more for rent.
- INTERNET. I might go insane if I don't have a way to communicate home. They must have wireless internet.
- Washer AND dryer. the dryer part is important. I don't mind washing the dishes/cleaning around/washing my clothes, but I do need a dryer.
- If I'm going to share the house with more people (which let's face I'm going to HAVE to) at least one of these people will have to be a female. I don't care how clean the guy is, I need at least one girl I can talk with/overrule the guy out.
- A clean space, nice roommates, and a room where I can lock myself into whenever I need to get away from it all.
That's it, I know it's a lot to ask, but if I could find something like that I'd be forever happy. Maureen Johnson posted a blog about 'How to move into a dorm' today, I need someone to post a 'How to move into Sheffield' blog.
Yesterday was John Green's bday. If by now you don't know who the guy is, you clearly do not know me at all. He and his books are almost entirely to be blamed for me moving away.
"Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps."
"Thomas Edison's last words were 'It's very beautiful over there'. I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's beautiful."
-- John Green, Looking for Alaska.
God, I adore this man.
I started re-reading the Harry Potter series, I want to finish before I go because I won't be able to carry all the books with me, but that might be impossible. I'm off to visit my favorite cousin, we're gonna watch Scott Pilgrim and make very important decisons about her life as well as mine. I'll keep you posted on what we decide.
TTFN.
Sexy: John Green. I really need to stop myself from being attracted to older man, married AND with kids. enough, enough now.
Unsexy: This anxiety that's eating me inside.
Song of the day: place to hide by Mhazz. So appropiate for these times, it's not in youtube, but you can find it on itunes.
"I can say I'm sad to go, but the future's bright, or so I'm told."
On a much sadder note, nerdfighter, brave star, and just awesome person and inspiration, Esther Earl , passed away earlier this morning. I never knew Esther personally but the impact she made in the community, the hope and inspiration she gave to us all, was so big. I watched/read her blogs and despite being ill, she always seemed happy and had a smile on her face, you couldn't help but to like her. As Kristina Horner said, my wand is raised to Esther and her family.
"To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
I keep repeating it to myself and feel nothing but wanting to throw up. I have so much anxiety built inside that I fear I might have to hit the next person who asks me "So, when are you leaving?" I think you can guess I have nothing figured out yet. I sent the check back to Mexico and hopefully they will be putting the money in my account very very soon. I need so much more money than that, the more I look at it, the more I seem to need, the more I seem to need, the more I spend here at home. SIGH.
I haven't found a house yet, that's what worries me the most, I did find a very lovely and affordable room the other day, by the next day it was gone. I keep browsing through the different sites trying to find something nice and cheap but mostly near the school. The only place I have found within walking distance it's this house shared by an old guy who I just don't seem so comfortable with. Also, I realized can't for serious have a house until I'm there, I'd have to check out the place before signing a contract. This are the criteria I have so far:
- Cheap. (and by cheap I don't mean 100 pounds cause I know it will suck, I'm okay with it being around, or less, preferably less, than 350)
- Location, location, location. Close to either the city center OR the school. If I live near the city center I can walk to mostly EVERYWHERE, I did find one place right across the Sheffield church, and get this, it's St. Peter and St. Paul's church. I was BORN on St. Peter and St. Paul's day! It's the reason why my mother named me Paola, it must be a sign, right? Right? But I'm not really looking forward to an hour or MORE commuting, so...
If I live close to the school that means waking up later, WALKING to work and not spending on buses, BUT then if I wanted to go out to the pubs, or simply go shopping I'd have to take the bus downtown and come home early cause it's farther away.
- It must include ALL bills. I don't really want to deal with how much we need to pay for the water, I'd just rather pay more for rent.
- INTERNET. I might go insane if I don't have a way to communicate home. They must have wireless internet.
- Washer AND dryer. the dryer part is important. I don't mind washing the dishes/cleaning around/washing my clothes, but I do need a dryer.
- If I'm going to share the house with more people (which let's face I'm going to HAVE to) at least one of these people will have to be a female. I don't care how clean the guy is, I need at least one girl I can talk with/overrule the guy out.
- A clean space, nice roommates, and a room where I can lock myself into whenever I need to get away from it all.
That's it, I know it's a lot to ask, but if I could find something like that I'd be forever happy. Maureen Johnson posted a blog about 'How to move into a dorm' today, I need someone to post a 'How to move into Sheffield' blog.
Yesterday was John Green's bday. If by now you don't know who the guy is, you clearly do not know me at all. He and his books are almost entirely to be blamed for me moving away.
"Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps."
"Thomas Edison's last words were 'It's very beautiful over there'. I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's beautiful."
-- John Green, Looking for Alaska.
God, I adore this man.
I started re-reading the Harry Potter series, I want to finish before I go because I won't be able to carry all the books with me, but that might be impossible. I'm off to visit my favorite cousin, we're gonna watch Scott Pilgrim and make very important decisons about her life as well as mine. I'll keep you posted on what we decide.
TTFN.
Sexy: John Green. I really need to stop myself from being attracted to older man, married AND with kids. enough, enough now.
Unsexy: This anxiety that's eating me inside.
Song of the day: place to hide by Mhazz. So appropiate for these times, it's not in youtube, but you can find it on itunes.
"I can say I'm sad to go, but the future's bright, or so I'm told."
On a much sadder note, nerdfighter, brave star, and just awesome person and inspiration, Esther Earl , passed away earlier this morning. I never knew Esther personally but the impact she made in the community, the hope and inspiration she gave to us all, was so big. I watched/read her blogs and despite being ill, she always seemed happy and had a smile on her face, you couldn't help but to like her. As Kristina Horner said, my wand is raised to Esther and her family.
"To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
Monday, August 16, 2010
Singin songs of love to pass the time
I hadn't blogged in a week, and this week has been so amazing, I can't believe it.
I had spent most of the time complaining about the food and feeling homesick, but then I found some great people who made me have a great time.
Monday and Tuesday, although very informative, were kind of boring in the seminar. On Wednesday we had more activities and interaction which was great, by Thursday we started to realize those were our last days together so we all got pretty emotional and we wanted to see and do everything in the DF but we were in the seminar from 9 to almost 5 or 6 everyday so that left nothing else to do but have dinner together.
I shared a room with 4 other girls who were very sweet, but I did not get to spend much time with them, I met some great people from Colima, GDL and Yucatan who were the ones I spent most of my time with.
This seminar made me get very VERY excited for what's in my future, but also made me get completely terrified, there's just SO much left to do, so many information I recieved and so much money I'll be needing, but at least now I can see that I'm not alone in this, there are going to be a lot of mexicans out there who will probably feel the same way as I do.
I guess what I'm most terrified about is changing a lot. I talked to Moni about this yesterday, all of the people we know who have gone away for a while have changed a lot, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse but they change and we change and our friendships are never the same. I know for a fact I'll continue being friends with her and with Aixchel because we're related and meant to be in each other lives for ever and ever, but I'm worried about my other friends, the ones I feel I'll be leaving behind, because, whether I like it or not, they will be leaving me behind too :(
I WANT this change, I want this adventure, I just hope I don't change so much that we won't have things in common anymore.
Today I went to the mall where the place I used to work is, I couldn't help to feel nostalgic, I spent two years of my life in that place, and even tho I hate to admit it, I'm going to miss it a lot.
All of my partners from the seminar are filling my facebook home page with messages about the seminar and pictures and being depressed about having to leave Mexico city. So I decided to make a list about the things I'll miss the most about the seminar:
- Waking up early/going to sleep late to get in line to shower/iron my hair/use the bathroom
- Having the girl on the bed above mine moving all night XD
- Having cereal/yogurt/watermelon/toast and coffee for breakfast EVERY morning.
- Not getting enough food at lunch.
- Mrs. Valerie (who organized the event) getting mad at us for any little thing and yelling and making a scene then calling herself Führer
- Ale Alejandrooou (from Valerie's team), he was always distracted so she was always yelling at him, but he always ALWAYS had a smile on his face, he won us all :)
- listening to Luis Miguel's song a hell of a lot, it was definitely the soundtrack of the seminar. And now I can't stop singing it.
- looking out my window and seeing the Catedral. :)
- all the wonderful people I met from North&South&East&West of Mexico.
As I said before, this past week was amazing and I will never forget it. The most wonderful thing happened too! Just as I was getting all SAD about leaving everybody and I started feeling lonely/panicking about boarding an airplane again, I saw one of my favorite people in the world! Aixchel was in vacation in Cancun and she was taking the exact same plane as i was taking in Mexico city! Talk about fate, there really is a huge angel watching over me. :D
I have one more month left here at home. HOME, it feels weird to say it, seeing as I'll be leaving it soon.
TTFN
Sexy: The amount of people telling me they miss me, I wish I could hug them all. Oh, and sleeping back in my own bed :)
Unsexy: How incredibly hot it is here in Monterrey, yesterday it was 10pm and we still had 30ªC
Song of the day: Songbird by Oasis, cover by the lovely Psychedelickk
I had spent most of the time complaining about the food and feeling homesick, but then I found some great people who made me have a great time.
Monday and Tuesday, although very informative, were kind of boring in the seminar. On Wednesday we had more activities and interaction which was great, by Thursday we started to realize those were our last days together so we all got pretty emotional and we wanted to see and do everything in the DF but we were in the seminar from 9 to almost 5 or 6 everyday so that left nothing else to do but have dinner together.
I shared a room with 4 other girls who were very sweet, but I did not get to spend much time with them, I met some great people from Colima, GDL and Yucatan who were the ones I spent most of my time with.
This seminar made me get very VERY excited for what's in my future, but also made me get completely terrified, there's just SO much left to do, so many information I recieved and so much money I'll be needing, but at least now I can see that I'm not alone in this, there are going to be a lot of mexicans out there who will probably feel the same way as I do.
I guess what I'm most terrified about is changing a lot. I talked to Moni about this yesterday, all of the people we know who have gone away for a while have changed a lot, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse but they change and we change and our friendships are never the same. I know for a fact I'll continue being friends with her and with Aixchel because we're related and meant to be in each other lives for ever and ever, but I'm worried about my other friends, the ones I feel I'll be leaving behind, because, whether I like it or not, they will be leaving me behind too :(
I WANT this change, I want this adventure, I just hope I don't change so much that we won't have things in common anymore.
Today I went to the mall where the place I used to work is, I couldn't help to feel nostalgic, I spent two years of my life in that place, and even tho I hate to admit it, I'm going to miss it a lot.
All of my partners from the seminar are filling my facebook home page with messages about the seminar and pictures and being depressed about having to leave Mexico city. So I decided to make a list about the things I'll miss the most about the seminar:
- Waking up early/going to sleep late to get in line to shower/iron my hair/use the bathroom
- Having the girl on the bed above mine moving all night XD
- Having cereal/yogurt/watermelon/toast and coffee for breakfast EVERY morning.
- Not getting enough food at lunch.
- Mrs. Valerie (who organized the event) getting mad at us for any little thing and yelling and making a scene then calling herself Führer
- Ale Alejandrooou (from Valerie's team), he was always distracted so she was always yelling at him, but he always ALWAYS had a smile on his face, he won us all :)
- listening to Luis Miguel's song a hell of a lot, it was definitely the soundtrack of the seminar. And now I can't stop singing it.
- looking out my window and seeing the Catedral. :)
- all the wonderful people I met from North&South&East&West of Mexico.
As I said before, this past week was amazing and I will never forget it. The most wonderful thing happened too! Just as I was getting all SAD about leaving everybody and I started feeling lonely/panicking about boarding an airplane again, I saw one of my favorite people in the world! Aixchel was in vacation in Cancun and she was taking the exact same plane as i was taking in Mexico city! Talk about fate, there really is a huge angel watching over me. :D
I have one more month left here at home. HOME, it feels weird to say it, seeing as I'll be leaving it soon.
TTFN
Sexy: The amount of people telling me they miss me, I wish I could hug them all. Oh, and sleeping back in my own bed :)
Unsexy: How incredibly hot it is here in Monterrey, yesterday it was 10pm and we still had 30ªC
Song of the day: Songbird by Oasis, cover by the lovely Psychedelickk
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Hello Sunday
I'm sorry this is becoming a "today I did..." type of blog, but there are some things I'd like to remember for a while so, on to that...
On Friday I ditched the other guys and went to the ripleys museum, which was ok but not as good as I expected, right in front of it there was the wax museum which I really liked, this is where I regretted not going with someone else, I really really wanted pictures with a lot of figures there, I also made a wax hand lol. After that I went to El Templo de San Hipolito, it's a catholic church where they, I don't know how to say it, show their respect to St. Jude, the saint of lost and desperate causes, I'm not very religious but since I was little I figured, if I'm going to have someone on my side when I'm praying to God, I want it to be this guy. He has never let me down and my mom believes in him a lot too, so I went and prayed for everything to turn out okay, this is where I felt the most homesick.
Yesterday I went to teotihuacan with a couple of girls from the program, we walked around 4 km just to get to the pyramids, I said I wanted to go up on at least one. We went to the moon pyramid first since it's the most important and mainly because it's the smallest of the two, it was a bitch to climb up bu totally worth it. Then we rested for a while, ate something before facing the big one, the moon pyramid has around 700 steps, I think and first I promised myself I'd at least go up to the first level. I'm not in the best physical condition but I managed to go up, then I just went 'just one level more' on 'we're so close to the top' so after a little while we went all the way up. The view is magnificent and I'm so glad I went, I even saw a girl blogging with her video camera and regretted not thinking about that.
I'm so sore tho, and sunburn, I hadn't seen myself his red in my whole life, I hope it goes away soon, it hurts like hell.
I'm off cause I have to leave this hostal and move to another one and the check in is in less than an hour away. The seminar starts tomorrow and I'm nervous, but hey, only six more days til I get to go home.
Ttfn I hope I can blog again soon
Sexy: sleeping for more than five hours :)
unsexy: sunburns, more aloe Vera before I leave ouch.
Song of the day: mr blue sky by elo. My get happy song.
On Friday I ditched the other guys and went to the ripleys museum, which was ok but not as good as I expected, right in front of it there was the wax museum which I really liked, this is where I regretted not going with someone else, I really really wanted pictures with a lot of figures there, I also made a wax hand lol. After that I went to El Templo de San Hipolito, it's a catholic church where they, I don't know how to say it, show their respect to St. Jude, the saint of lost and desperate causes, I'm not very religious but since I was little I figured, if I'm going to have someone on my side when I'm praying to God, I want it to be this guy. He has never let me down and my mom believes in him a lot too, so I went and prayed for everything to turn out okay, this is where I felt the most homesick.
Yesterday I went to teotihuacan with a couple of girls from the program, we walked around 4 km just to get to the pyramids, I said I wanted to go up on at least one. We went to the moon pyramid first since it's the most important and mainly because it's the smallest of the two, it was a bitch to climb up bu totally worth it. Then we rested for a while, ate something before facing the big one, the moon pyramid has around 700 steps, I think and first I promised myself I'd at least go up to the first level. I'm not in the best physical condition but I managed to go up, then I just went 'just one level more' on 'we're so close to the top' so after a little while we went all the way up. The view is magnificent and I'm so glad I went, I even saw a girl blogging with her video camera and regretted not thinking about that.
I'm so sore tho, and sunburn, I hadn't seen myself his red in my whole life, I hope it goes away soon, it hurts like hell.
I'm off cause I have to leave this hostal and move to another one and the check in is in less than an hour away. The seminar starts tomorrow and I'm nervous, but hey, only six more days til I get to go home.
Ttfn I hope I can blog again soon
Sexy: sleeping for more than five hours :)
unsexy: sunburns, more aloe Vera before I leave ouch.
Song of the day: mr blue sky by elo. My get happy song.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
From the moment I wake...
I haven't been listening to music a lot these days, it's making me sad. :(
today, I went on a tour around Mexico city, I had never been on a double decker bus and I never thought I would get on one here. I feel so naive around these people, they all seem older and more experienced than I am.
Mexico is alright, it just seems ... Smaller than I thought. The independence angel for example, I thought it would be huge but it's actually pretty small. We saw the Spain soccer team taking pictures there, best part of the tour :)
I forgot to say I went to the uk consulate to apply for a visa, it was a whole show I didn't meet the people from the program til this morning and thank god I did, I filled out the forms wrong but they helped me get them right, lucky me printed everything twice. Now I just have to wait for their decision.
Song of the day: mmm... Shiver by Coldplay
today, I went on a tour around Mexico city, I had never been on a double decker bus and I never thought I would get on one here. I feel so naive around these people, they all seem older and more experienced than I am.
Mexico is alright, it just seems ... Smaller than I thought. The independence angel for example, I thought it would be huge but it's actually pretty small. We saw the Spain soccer team taking pictures there, best part of the tour :)
I forgot to say I went to the uk consulate to apply for a visa, it was a whole show I didn't meet the people from the program til this morning and thank god I did, I filled out the forms wrong but they helped me get them right, lucky me printed everything twice. Now I just have to wait for their decision.
Song of the day: mmm... Shiver by Coldplay
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